Working on my after picture.

So I'm hoping that one day these will be before pictures. I hope one day I post this picture aside another picture of me where this shirt is lose and flowy.  And my arms will have definition. And maybe I won't have a pile of laundry on my bathroom floor ;)

I officially registered for my first half marathon!! I'm doing the Tinkerbell race at Disneyland in May. I'm working out really hard, but the area I really need to step it up is my eating. I literally think about food all day long. When I realize it's meal time I am so happy. Today I ran my heart out... only to come home and eat an ice cream sandwich!! I ate 3 corn muffins with dinner! What is wrong with me... trying to get to the source of this. I literally go into like a trance and lie to myself. I say things like, Well just one more bite won't hurt. Completely disregarding the last 20 bites. Or I'll think, I haven't had much to eat today, I better eat another granola bar, besides I really need the fiber! That's another problem. I really don't buy junk food. I do buy ingredients to make junk food... like I literally can't go a week without baking chocolate chip cookies. And if they're homemade, then the calories don't count right?? I eat almost all "real" food. However, I eat a lot of it! I know that no matter how much I lift, or how much I run, it won't be enough to make a big difference unless I control my eating. So each day I try. And slowly but surely I'm getting there. I weigh in on Friday so we'll see where I'm at. I've been right around 220 for weeeeks now.

My 30th birthday is 7.5 weeks away. I would LOVE if I could lose 5 lbs my first week, then even just 1 lb a week until my birthday. To be below 210 would feel like such a huge accomplishment! And I think it is realistic. Okay in the next 7.5 weeks I will lose 11 lbs. I will do this by counting and tracking EVERY BITE I eat. I will do this by continuing to run 4x a week, and lift weights 3x a week. And I'm secretly wishing that it will be more than 11 lbs, if I actually stick to this, but I will be realistic. I am still nursing an infant and my body really likes to hold on to weight while nursing.

June Goals

It's the first day of the month and wonderful time for setting some goals.

My one goal?

Run/Walk 50 miles this month. That's 1 2/3 miles every day.  If I run every other day that's almost 3 miles a day. I'm not sure how I'm going to break it up yet. But 50 miles logged by July.

We have a week at SeaWorld and Legoland coming up so that will probably help!

I also have a knee injury and so I can't run right now :(   But I'm going to walk and elliptical it up.

Weigh-in tomorrow! Don't have high hopes for this week though. I really didn't track well and kind of indulged a few too many times. We'll see.

Had another kid and I'm back at this weight loss...

230 again...

224.6

I started running again, and also doing pilates at the Y. I'm counting points, Weight Watchers Style, and staying accountable with my friend Laura, and hopefully going to start using this blog again.

Non Scale Victory -- I ran 3 miles yesterday. And then today I did my entire pilates class without modifications. This is maybe my 4th or 5th week of it, and I've always had to do the modified plank, or not hold it the entire time. This time I was able to do a real plank and hold it the whole time just like the skinny minnies in that class!

My goals are to keep this up. I will be turning 30 in 6 months! I really want to accomplish my original goal of being in better shape by the time I turn 30 than I was when I turned 20.  I am sure if I just keep doing what I'm doing I'll accomplish that. I don't think I could have run 3 miles when I was 20. I'm definitely heavier, but I'm defining my fitness based on my weight alone.

I weigh-in each Monday, so hopefully I'll update this blog with my weights each week. But I'll also keep track of the "nsv"s. I'd like to get my 5k time much faster, and I also want to run a half marathon the day after my birthday.

The Sugar Detox

Living with my in-laws has provided some challenges when it comes to weight loss. I don't buy junk food. But now I'm not the only person buying food. So even if I don't want it in the house - I don't have the same control as I did in my own house.

So when everyone left for Mexico after Christmas I decided to stay home with my little family and have a sugar detox. I threw away A LOT of candy, cookies, treats, etc. No one was eating except for me. So I chucked it. And then I locked up everything else. The sugar, chocolate chips, and cookies that people actually eat.

And I didn't touch sugar for a week. It was so hard the first few days and I think my body literally had withdrawal symptoms. My joints ached, and I was so so sleepy. And the cravings! The cravings were insane.

But then after a week I decided to test the waters and see how I would do if I ate a brownie. I ate it, and didn't even finish it. I felt sick to my stomach. WHAT?? This has never happened to me in my life.

Anyway so now I wake up and I don't eat candy. I was literally eating candy first thing every morning. That or a handful of chocolate chips. I don't grab something to eat every time I walk through the kitchen. It feels really good.

I know how easy it is to slip right back into old habits and ways so I'm still trying to avoid sugar as much as possible. And now I don't even really want it.

And guess what - my weight is still 216. ><

I'm reading Women Food and God. It is so interesting! I'll post about it when I'm done.

Well that's kind of depressing

I'm still around 216.

I know I snack too much. I see food and this compulsion to stuff my face is just too strong to resist.

If I stay out of the kitchen I am fine.

I cook healthy meals.

Unfortunately I also bake delicious cookies. All the time. I just can't help myself.

I run a lot. But that's about it.  I started Insanity with my sister in law on Friday.

I'm also going to start to texting everything I eat to my sister-in-law Allison.

And I'm going to continue running every morning.

And drink 2 liters of water every day.

And then step on the scale in three weeks. I'll let ya know how it goes.

217

well 216.9, but who's counting?

I've had a crappy couple of weeks. Food is calling to me at all times. I had actually gotten down to about 214, but gained almost 3 pounds the last two weeks.

Seriously, if I'm not running around somewhere with my kids - I'm either eating or trying to not think about eating. It's bad. Even right now as I type this - I am fighting the urge to break into the box of Reese's Puff cereal on top of the fridge. And I'm not even at home. It's not even MY food. I should be doing some form of exercise. Every morning I think to myself - I am going to exercise instead of sit on the computer -- but I don't.

It was fun to look at this blog though and see that I'm 10lbs less than my last entry.

I realized that weight loss comes in waves. Sometimes it's really, really hard, and sometimes it feels almost easy. I guess the key is to just keep going - even the really hard times.

We are moving to Arizona soon. It is stressful. Which of course makes me want to eat. Trying to resist.

I would really, really like to lose 20lbs before we get to AZ. I have 6 (ish) weeks. Of course - I am setting an unrealistically high goal. And then I will fail and then I will feel bad about myself and then I will eat more. It's what I do.

I'll post again in like 3 months and let ya know how it's going.

5 more lbs!

I've now lost 10lbs since starting my last weight loss challenge about 5 weeks ago.

I still haven't started working out, just trying to eat better.

Truth is,

I need to get serious.

I'm going to get my stuff to the YMCA 

TODAY.

Okay or tomorrow morning since I have to drive down there anyway to drop off the kid I babysit.

But I'm going to find everything I need to give them

TODAY.

I'm also going to download myfitnesspal onto my phone.

And use it.

Losing 10lbs feels great.

I can't weight for 20lbs.

30lbs.

By Nathan's first birthday I'm hoping for 60lbs.

I know I change my goal like daily. 

That's probably less effective.

Oh well.