Started a weight loss challenge.

I love when something just clicks. Right now it's clicked. I'm in the mindset where I want to lose this weight more than I want anything else. I feel like as soon as that happens, it's a lot easier to say no to the cravings. So challenge started on Monday. My beginning stats...

Weight - 231.5
Waist - 45 in
Size - 16-18

That was taken on  Monday. I weighed myself this morning and I've already lost 3lbs! Current weight is 228. Love losing those first three pounds.

Here is my "before" picture. My goal is to lose 30 lbs with this challenge. I have 12 weeks to do it. So it's a pretty lofty goal. Right now I'm just focusing on eating less. Measuring out an actual serving, etc. I also take a nutritional supplement, Reliv, that has helped me lose weight before. I am going to be perfect about taking it. And I need to renew my membership to the YMCA. Hopefully on Monday I can start really working out too.

Let's get real

So we still have no scale at our house - but we do have our Wii Fit. I finally stuck some batteries in that sucker this morning. I've gained 16lbs since my last WiiFit weigh in over 700 days ago. Considering I was pregnant with Abigail during my last weigh in... and have now just had a baby... that's not terrible. Right? But I feel like desire to start working out. Last night I strapped my baby to my chest and started going up and down the stairs right outside the bathroom door while the girls were playing in the tub. I got a good 10 minutes of running up and down the stairs. Then wrestling three kids into PJ's... I'd call that a pretty good work out. I think if I do that every night during bath time I might see some results. Plus it was fun.

I have guilt issues with putting my kids in the gym day care. Especially my newborn. So for now this will work. My eating habits kind of stink. Working on that too. I think I'm just going to go back to writing everything down that I eat.

baby's here

So I have like 30 seconds to update, probably. So quickly -- Baby boy was born Dec. 17th. I was probably pushing 250 when I delivered him. I am not around 230. I still don't have a working scale in my home. BUT... I feel GREAT about my body.

It's larger than it's ever been, without having another person inside it, and yet I feel beautiful. This should be a good thing. But I keep freaking out. I'm like wow I LOOK GOOD! And then I'm like... but I'm 230lbs... and that's FAT. I shouldn't think I look good. Isn't that a silly thought process? If I feel pretty, I should feel pretty no matter what number is on the scale.

I'm also glad I lost that first 20lbs so effortlessly. Now it's time to start working. I do want to be thinner, even if I feel pretty at this weight. I want to be healthy. I want my knee pain to go away. I want more energy.

I'm nursing this baby boy so diet options are kind of limited, but healthy eating is always good.

Okay baby is screaming, just as predicted. Hopefully I'll update here more often.

dude whats up with my header

So apparently my header made in paint isn't supported by blogger.. or maybe it's just my computer... but anyway ignore that for now.

I've SUCKED at everything health-wise lately. Every single night around this time (10:32pm) I make promises to myself. Tomorrow I will drink lots of water. Tomorrow I will exercise. Tomorrow I will up on protein.

And then I wake up in the morning... and eat cookie dough for breakfast. And wash it down with a baked cookie. And maybe a tad more cookie dough. I really need to learn to stop baking cookies. Something happens to me when the temperature dips below 60 degrees, I feel a need to bake. I need to fix that.

I also haven't weighed myself at all since that last time I updated with my weight. The batteries in our scale died around the same time, and I just haven't ever remembered to get the right batteries while out. And truthfully I'm not sure I want to know. I'm thinking at this point I will wait until after the baby is born, and then a couple of weeks.

My new midwife sees no reason in tracking a woman's weight while pregnant. She says it doesn't tell us anything. She takes my blood pressure and checks for swelling and all that, but she says as long as I'm feeling fine that's a better indicator than a number on a scale. And I love her for that.

But I really need to exercise more. Seriously it is sad how out of breath I get going up my stairs. Or trying to put a fitted sheet on our king sized bed.  I'm telling you that was a sight. I need to just start walking. Or anything. I pretty much have a goal everyday of moving as little as possible. And that is not a healthy goal. Probably normal for someone who is 8 months pregnant for the third time since 2007.But still... I need to be working on it.

Okay goals for tomorrow: drink more water. Move. Maybe now that I promised you, blog, I will do it.

My awesome week.

So I called a friend's midwife and I'm in love with her. She told me simply that Kim had no right to talk to me like that. And that gaining 10lbs while pregnant and on vacation is no reason for concern. And she also told me she knows Kim, and that quite frankly she can be a total "b". I felt better immediately. She seems awesome.

This week I have totally rocked it. I'm just sayin. But I went to the gym 3 times. And I sweat my booty off all three times. And I loved it. I did my pelvic rocking exercise that I swear saves my back, takes me all of 2 minutes, but for some reason I haven't been that great at doing it until this week. I've made a huge effort to add lots of raw fruit and veggies to my diet. No matter what else I eat, I add a piece of fruit or some veggies to it. I think this really helped me in my awesome week. I haven't stopped eating carbs all together, but I've cut back and have been filling up on protein.

But my scale is dead again. I think it might be time for a new one. We seem to be going through batteries a little too quickly. So I have no clue what I weigh, but for right now I'm okay with that.

I also just found this website http://www.ourfamilyeats.com/ And I'm going to give their challenge a try. I need to talk to Aaron, but I think he will be on board. It really is appalling what's in those darn fruit snacks and every other snacky thing like that my children love. Seriously juice boxes and fruit snacks are like crack around here, and have to be guarded under lock and key (okay just stop shelf, but still..). For this reason alone, I've debated in my mind to stop buying them... but after reading all this my decision is becoming more firm in my mind.

I know this is silly, but I really don't want to become one of "those people" who don't let their kids eat anything fun. I have a very laid back parenting style as it is, and this just seems not me. But I really can't justify letting my kids eat petroleum. We are really picky about medicine and vaccinations, so why would I think eating stuff that may contain mercury, arsenic, and other known carcinogens is okay? This is also going to be hard because it seems my kids live for ice pops and fruit snacks. And they don't really have behavior problems. Most of the time. I don't think. But we have been good about giving Olivia her Reliv the past few days and she's been acting sweeter and more obedient than normal. I do believe behavior and nutrition are more related than we think.

So we'll give it a go. I'm not sure we'll start this week because Aaron just brought a box of those blasted fruit snacks yesterday and I doubt he'll want to waste them and throw them out or something. But as soon as this box is gone I am vowing to not buy fruit snacks or juice boxes from here on out.

Yeah. I'm still fat. But now I have a new excuse!!

I weighed 234 on my doctors scale at my last midwife appointment. *dies a little inside*

That is officially the highest my weight has ever been. Even at the end of each of my pregnancies.

Have I told you, little blog of mine, that I'm pregnant? With our third baby? Our first son? Yes, I'm really excited too. But depressed at the same time. I was doing pretty well at the beginning with working out and eating fairly healthy. Then we moved to NJ for 5 weeks. Where all motivation and will power went out the window. I still tried not to go overboard. Ya know... only say yes once a day when my grandmother offered me a Klondike bar. Anywhoo - weighed myself every day and I stayed the same the entire 5 weeks I was there. So I thought that was pretty good. Then I went to AZ. Where I promptly went overboard. And ate all the Mexican food I could. And then went back to NJ and NYC and indulged a little here and a little there... adding up to a 12 pound weight gain in 8 weeks.

Which made my midwife flip out on me. Like seriously this woman talked to me the way you would talk to a disobedient child. I never felt so... belittled in my life. I keep playing the conversation over in my head. I really don't like the way she talked to me. But maybe I need someone like this to help me stay on track while I'm pregnant? Tough love? I don't know because I've really been sad since that appointment. But I've also been eating a lot of salad and protein. So... I don't know. Part of me wants to lose 10lbs before my next visit and really show her! Then another part of me wants to eat chocolate cake for the rest of my life and never go back there again.

Must stop myself

I am out of control today. I never, ever, buy food that is just purely junk. But today I broke that rule and went nutso at the grocery store. We were going to the zoo and we just needed yummy zoo treats. Ya know? So we got a bag of my all time fav candy, Swedish Fish. And a box of random chocolate cookies that Olivia picked out. A big bag of pretzels. We also got peaches, so it wasn't a total junk fest. But... I have eaten more than my full of Swedish Fish, and pretzels. It kills me that my stomach is full of empty calories! So I need to turn it around. It's not too late. All is not lost.

The real reason behind all this too... I was 218 this morning. So I was feeling good about myself, since I was less than I have been weighing recently. Good logic, huh? Okay so now I am turning it around, and going to make healthy choices for the rest of the day. Including getting off the computer and playing with my kids. The weather here is AMAZING today. No humidity. Sunny. Cool breeze. Just lovely.