I weighed 234 on my doctors scale at my last midwife appointment. *dies a little inside*
That is officially the highest my weight has ever been. Even at the end of each of my pregnancies.
Have I told you, little blog of mine, that I'm pregnant? With our third baby? Our first son? Yes, I'm really excited too. But depressed at the same time. I was doing pretty well at the beginning with working out and eating fairly healthy. Then we moved to NJ for 5 weeks. Where all motivation and will power went out the window. I still tried not to go overboard. Ya know... only say yes once a day when my grandmother offered me a Klondike bar. Anywhoo - weighed myself every day and I stayed the same the entire 5 weeks I was there. So I thought that was pretty good. Then I went to AZ. Where I promptly went overboard. And ate all the Mexican food I could. And then went back to NJ and NYC and indulged a little here and a little there... adding up to a 12 pound weight gain in 8 weeks.
Which made my midwife flip out on me. Like seriously this woman talked to me the way you would talk to a disobedient child. I never felt so... belittled in my life. I keep playing the conversation over in my head. I really don't like the way she talked to me. But maybe I need someone like this to help me stay on track while I'm pregnant? Tough love? I don't know because I've really been sad since that appointment. But I've also been eating a lot of salad and protein. So... I don't know. Part of me wants to lose 10lbs before my next visit and really show her! Then another part of me wants to eat chocolate cake for the rest of my life and never go back there again.
Gah! I am horrified to read about your experience with your midwife! During my first pregnancy, while I adored my doctor, the nurse who weighed me every time would totally click her tongue and chide me every time I had gained too much weight, it really bothered me, especially because the doctor never said anything.
ReplyDeleteWhat bugs me is that her behavior is super unhelpful. It's not like you're unaware of what that number means. It's not like you ALREADY feel awful. It is not any medical professional's duty to give you "tough love". You place your trust--you place your very LIFE and the life of your unborn child in their care--and it crosses the line for them to treat you that way.
In a word of encouragement, though, I was horrified when I put on a LOT of weight during the holidays of this last pregnancy--and I just firmly didn't put any more on between New Year's and a week before Memorial Day. I was a little worried that it'd mean I'd have an underweight baby, but he came out at 9lbs 2oz.
So, it'll be okay if you don't gain any more weight or even lose some during the rest of your pregnancy.
Hang in there, honey. I know how gross 235 feels--that was my highest weight and I didn't even have the excuse of being in the middle of my 3rd pregnancy. I just let things get out of control THAT fast. It's awful, it's depressing and it can feel overwhelming, like you'll never get out. But you totally can. If I can do it, ANYONE can.
You are more than the number on the scale, Lauren. You are a beloved daughter of God. Never, ever forget that.
Thanks ashley. You are such a motivation to me! I didn't go into that much detail but everyone I talk to about what my midwife said they all unanimously agree I should switch doctors which I'm seriously considering. Thank you again for your comment :)
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