Thanksgiving

So when I got to my moms I was determined to stay on track. I woke up Thanksgiving morning and did my brother's Insanity workout DVD. It was so HARD! And then I did really good at eating on Thanksgiving. I had granola stuff for breakfast, did minimal picking while baking, had a protein shake for lunch (okay like 2 sips of a protein shake for lunch because it was sick to the nast and I just couldn't drink it). And then at dinner I just limited my portions. I seriously gave myself a pep talk before leaving for my aunts. Fill up on high protein foods. Avoid cheesey, startchy foods. For appetizers I stuck to the shrimp cocktail, dinner I had the norm, but more turkey than potatoes, and no gravy, and lots of veggies. Then dessert I had 1 piece of apple pie, and a cupcake. I did awesome!! I actually weighed myself when I got to my moms house, then again the day after Thanksgiving and I LOST half a pound. So I got all cocky and proud of myself and didn't work out at all again the rest of the time I was there. And I didn't really pay too much attention to what I was eating.

And now I'm paying for it.

223.

BLAAAHHHH.

I was 220 when we left. I worked so hard for those 3 stinking pounds.

But I'm not dwelling on it. I'm going to just get right back on track.

And I have a new goal. I want to be a size 12 by my birthday. Which is October. Which is really far away. So I should be able to reach it easily, and then maintain it until my birthday. I really would like to be a size 12 by new years, but I don't want to get all discouraged when that doesn't happen. But when goals are really far away it's easy for me to put it off until it gets closer. So my short term goal is to lose 5 pounds this week. My plan again is Kashi for breakfast, weight loss shake for lunch, sensible dinner, and unlimited fruits and veggies. I'm limiting my exercise. I'm still going to work out, but not too crazy. For some reason I have found when I work out really hard it's hard for me to eat healthy. I'm getting that under control and then I'll work on working out more.

Early Weigh In

I realized I won't be home on Friday, and it will be the day after Thanksgiving. So I decided to weigh myself today. 221.0! Yay I am so excited and determined to keep this going.

My plan for Thanksgiving isn't much different than what I've been doing. I will have Kashi Go Lean Crunch for breakfast, weight loss shake for lunch. I will limit my portions at dinner, reminding myself that gorging myself isn't what the holiday is all about. I will also go for a run Thanksgiving morning.

It really has been easier lately. We'll see how I do under the temptation that is my mother's house.

New Batteries!

I put batteries in my scale... and *drum roll*

222.6!

I know it's a different scale... so I probably haven't lost 4 lbs since Monday. But I like it. So now I am going to have "official" weigh-ins. On Fridays. I know I'm a day late. But Friday seems like a good day to weigh in.

I have been doing better. Last night was a ward Thanksgiving party. I did pretty good limiting myself to one half sized slice of pumpkin pie for dessert and just a normal dinner. I have found certain foods make me over eat. I just can't stop myself from eating the entire bag of Oreo's. So I don't have any. Pretty much goes for anything sweet.

It's been kind of boring but pretty much what I've been eating every day:

Kashi Go Lean Crunch for breakfast.

Weight loss shake for lunch

Normal dinner.

Maybe a few little snacks here or there, but it's always fruits and vegetables.

I really want to do a race. I'm starting to enjoy my runs. Although it's seriously getting cold. I don't know what to do about that. There is an indoor track here I'm thinking of going to. But it's kind of far away and $10 a month isn't much, but when living on student loans it's not quite so easy. Especially when I'm already doing the babysitting at Jazzercise. So yeah we'll see about that.

I went to body sculpting this morning. I feel so tired now. I am really wondering if it's worth it to work out. Why is it better to work out than just eat less? This is something I've gone back and forth about it a lot. I have to remind myself I feel better when I work out. That's what it's all about. I enjoy it. Most of the time. But some days when I don't have much energy left it's just hard to get myself going.

But my new goal is to be 200 by Christmas. I have no idea how do-able that is. And if I don't do it, I won't give up. But I want to work towards it. I'd reeeally like to start the new year in a size 12, but I don't think that's very realistic. But I'm going to try.

Another habit that needs breaking

Some days as a mom of young kids are long. Really long. By the end of these long days I feel I deserve a little somethin' somethin' in the way of sweets. With every late night tear, and fit and scream the more I want it. I'm currently contemplating making cookie dough and eating it all. Every last drop.

But instead I'll write about it.

I have my period too. That doesn't help. I get crazy sweet cravings. And my stress levels go through the roof.

I am so grumpy right now!!!!! Not even with reason, I'm just grumpy. It's a hard feeling when your mom. Days almost over. I'll resist the cookies. I will resist the cookies.

Another pound!

I weighed myself today.. at Jazzercise. I will buy batteries for my scale today. And I will have "official weigh-in"s on Fridays. That's my new plan. But now to tell you my good news! I LOST another pound. Yaaaaaaay!! I am now 226. Which is only 3 pounds from 229... but 3 pounds in the right direction. I am excited. Esp since I felt kind of like I was already falling off the wagon. Today things are back to normal. My Kashi Go Lean Crunch for breakfast. Weight loss shake for lunch. I did sneak two fruit snacks from my daughter before giving them to her... but I won't cheat anymore today. Lettuce Wraps for dinner. Yumm-o. Can't wait. And I kind of hurt my back today lifting my kids, so I'm hesitant to Jazzercise or run today. We'll see how it goes. I'm not looking for excuses, I just really can't afford to seriously injure my back.

I really need batteries

So I've been slacking. The scale really is motivation for me. And I haven't weighed myself. And my rebirth of fitness has seemed to slightly fizzle. I baked cookies yesterday and ate 4 of them. And maybe a TBS of dough. I'm disappointed in myself, even though before this adventure it definitely would have been 12 cookies and like 3 or 5 TBS of dough. I just don't know why I lack so much self control.

Tonight we had Papa John's pizza for dinner. I had 3 cheese slices. And a salad. I wish I only had 2 pieces. I really thought that I passed some turning point in my life and that all of a sudden things would stay that easy.

Anyway kids are running a muck and need baths

Guiltless Alfredo

A disclaimer of sorts: I do not like Alfredo sauce. I never ever order it when we go out to eat. I've had it home made and still didn't really like it. I don't know... it's just not my thing. But I LOVE this recipe. It's on the weekly rotation at our house.

http://www.ourbestbites.com/2008/08/guiltless-alfredo-sauce.html

Find the full recipe there. But basically....

Combine in a blender:

2 C low-fat milk 1/3 C (3 oz) low fat cream cheese 2 T flour 1 t salt

In a Skillet. 1 T butter 3 garlic cloves ... saute just a few seconds. Then add milk mixture to skillet. Bring to boil. Simmer about 30 minutes, stirring frequently. Remove from heat. Add 1 C grated Parmesan cheese. Stir until cheese is melted. Let stand about 10 minutes.

I served this over Smart Taste pasta, with broccoli and shrimp.

Sooo gooooood!

If I'm being honest

I worked out once last week.

I am disappointed in myself because this was an area I was rocking for like 2 solid months.

I'd blame it on the weather, but it's been surprisingly nice out for mid November in Erie.

I have had sick kids. Been sick myself. So I guess I can cut myself a little slack, but not much. I definitely had time, and motivation, but obviously missing something.

I think it's my belief that I eat more when I work out. I feel entitled to a treat. And I actually do feel hungrier. I have been eating much less this week.

Except yesterday. I made tacos. And I ate probably a tablespoon a of beef, to "test" it while I cooked. And then I had to shred the cheese, and a few pieces of that somehow made its way to my mouth. And a wonderful soul from Arizona mailed us a package with chips and salsa from the best place in the world in Arizona. And Aaron and I kind of devoured them. But I did make myself a healthy salad for dinner. I had lettuce, taco meat, guacamole, a small amount of cheese, low fat refried beans. It was so yummy, and I'd guess around 600 calories, since I was kind of heavy on the meat.

Today is beautiful out. I am going to go for a run. Despite my pounding headache. And I didn't go to Jazzercise at all last week. Goal for next week is at least 3.

I have been pretty good at eating my Kashi Go Lean Crunch for breakfast. And then a weight loss shake for lunch. A couple of days I had a salad instead of the shake.

And I still haven't made cookies. I go visiting teaching tomorrow and I'm debating whether or not to bake them for the ladies I visit.

The ultimate test

The ultimate test

If it goes longer than, say a month, I start to get an itch. It starts to consume my thoughts. I begin to dream about it. Salivating at random intervals throughout the day....

Okay I'm exaggerating a bit. But seriously...

I need to bake some chocolate chip cookies.

I don't know why baking chocolate chip cookies is one of my all time favorite things to do. However, every single time I make them I am sure eat the equivalent of at least 4 cookies in dough alone. Then of course I have to eat one that came straight from the oven. Then I burn my tongue and don't really enjoy it... so I wait a few minutes until they're slightly cooler and have another one that I can actually chew and enjoy without scalding myself. And then when they're completely cool, I have to of course try another one to make sure they still taste good when they're cold. And then every time I walk into the kitchen, if they are not securely wrapped up, I compulsively take another one.

I am going to attempt to bake chocolate chip cookies today. As a test. To see if I've really changed. If I can make an entire batch without stuffing myself full of dough... it really will be a miracle. LOL

Anyway, as I type this I realize how incredibly ridiculous it is. And maybe I won't. Since it will be 60 degrees here today. I need to be outside enjoying every minute of it with my kids. I know the freezing temps are just around the corner. And it's always better to bake when it's cold. Either way I will let you know when I do. And how it goes.

Oh and by the way, also couldn't keep myself from the scale at Jazzercise yesterday.. 2-2-7! Yaaaayyy for it not taking another month to lose that pound from NJ.

Working out

I ran a mile tonight. It is getting cold here, and it makes running so much harder. I hate the feeling of breathing in cold air. Anyone have any tips for that? Because I am starting to enjoy my run, but hate the cold!

Anyway I feel good about myself because I ran a mile. Walked a lap. Then did the bleachers for as long as I could bare which honestly wasn't long. I probably went up and down about 10 times, and that's a generous estimate. Then I did a few minutes of ab work. It was good.

Then I came home and ate pulled pork and corn. Made french fries for Aaron and again didn't even want them. I didn't even have one. I can't even tell you how different that is from what is "normal" for me. Even if I didn't want one before, something would have compelled to have "just one" because where's the harm in just one?

I think a lot of this stemmed from a moment sitting on my bed last week. I was kind of slouching in jeans that were a bit too small, with a shirt a bit too tight, and I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was kind of horrified. Like I said before, I have a pretty good body image. Most of the time I feel good when I look in the mirror. I don't see fatness, I see pretty eyes, and sometimes I like my hair, and sometimes I even think my boobs look good. But occasionally I see acne and flat lifeless hair with a few premature grays, (are they still considered premature if I'm 26?) and blubber. The day I'm talking about, was of the former mindset. And the thought just came. The chub I saw was the result of "just a bite", "one more taste" and dessert when I was already full. It was the result of years of mindless eating, extra snacking, etc. And I said a prayer. That Heavenly Father would help me overcome this. This one specific thing. That I wouldn't eat it if I didn't really want it. I don't know how many people have trouble eating stuff they don't even want, but I do... did... do? Anyway since that moment I seem to have really no problem stopping myself.

Today I built a gingerbread house thing with Olivia. There were gobs of candy and frosting. All of which would normally had ended up in my mouth. We threw away a great deal of candy and frosting. I ate once piece and felt so gross. Previously I would have continued to eat it anyway, without even thinking about it. But today I didn't. And the big thing is, it wasn't forced. I wasn't even trying to not eat it. It was effortless. Aaahh I'm so excited about this. And also nervous that it won't last. That I'll just break or something and go back to my old ways. But for now I'll enjoy it, and continue working at it. I'm actually looking forward to weighing myself Friday.

Miracles

So I've made weight loss a great matter of prayer lately. Every scripture I've read, I've seemed to be able to apply in some obscure way to to weight loss. And this past Friday it was SO easy. There was zero temptation to break my own rules. I had an almost perfect day. Then Saturday at Super Saturday there was a table full of delicious food. Pumpkiny treats, doughnuts, cookies, etc. I took a banana and was happy about it. The doughnuts didn't even look tempting... AND THEY WERE KRISPY KREMES! (Or however they spell it). I swear doughnuts are such a weakness for me, I once told Aaron I had to literally make a conscious decision every day to NOT have a doughnut. Literally, every time I got in the car, I debated driving to the nearest Basha's and getting myself a doughnut. So for there to be a table of them in front of me, and to not even WANT one. Well, that was huge for me. Sunday was a fast Sunday, so that was that. When I did finally eat I went a little nuts, downing 2 cheese sticks and 2 pieces of whole wheat bread in less than 5 minutes. But at least it wasn't chocolate chip cookies, or something else much less healthy. Today I ate a cheese stick for breakfast, which I regret, because it's obviously not a very balanced meal. Anyway... something's changed. Maybe all this work is changing my attitude, but I consider it nothing short of a miracle. Really. I think Heavenly Father has helped changed my heart towards health.

I love Monday!

I really do love Monday. I feel like it's a fresh start. A new day and a new week. I am going to weigh myself at Jazzercise Friday. I really need to get batteries for my scale at home. Maybe I'll do that today.

My new healthy challenge for this week is to add more fresh fruits and veggies to every meal. I read over at TrainerMomma that half your plate should be veggies or fruit.

Also I just saw the weather this week and it looks like its going to be pretty nice all week so I am going to run 3 days week.

I did really good with my eating this weekend. But I didn't work out at all. I feel the need to eat more when I work out. Which planted a little seed of thought that maybe I shouldn't start working out again until I get my eating habits figured out. But to be perfectly honest I enjoy the escape of running. And I haven't run in a week and this teenie tiny part of me actually misses it.

Doing pretty good

Just reporting in, bloggity blog. Yesterday we went to Sam's Club and I couldn't resist the samples. They're just samples right! But I know they add up and I wish I ate a couple less. I had my shake for lunch and a healthy dinner. Today I had some pumpkin bread for lunch at a Relief Society thing. I should have had 1 less slice. But at least I stayed away from the cinnamon rolls! I haven't made it to Jazzercise since we've been back, but I will on Monday. And I still worked out in my house. Not nearly as hard as I do at Jazzercise, but better than nothing.

I'm feeling really good about my latest efforts.

My new goal

So this week I am going to be drastic. Maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe this will backfire. But I'm going to try. My new plan:

Breakfast - Kashi Go Lean Crunch w/ skim milk

Lunch - Weight loss shake

Dinner - A sensible Doc Oz approved dinner. I'll get back to post recipes.

Only snacks will be fruits or veggies.

I know I didn't want to do something I couldn't stick with. And I know I won't live on a weight loss shake for lunch every day for the rest of my life. But for now it's what I need. I think. Plus I'll still follow my basic rules: Drink a gallon of water, no eating past 8:00 pm, nothing with more than 12 grams of sugar per serving. Plus I'm going to work out really hard. Like super harder than ever.

See ya 229!!

:(

So I gained a pound in NJ.

I ran once while I was there. I was half hearted in my attempt to eat well. So what could I expect really.

My body is not the body I had before I had children. I am coming to accept that.

I need to work harder than I have ever had to work before. I am willing to do it.

Today I ate a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner. Instead of ice cream I had a handful of chocolate chips and a glass of skim milk. I didn't work out, but I have a good excuse. We were really busy getting settled back in from our trip. I will tomorrow. Promise.

I have been feeling really crummy, because you know how hard I worked for that pound. I have been trying to find ways to still feel good about myself, despite my weight. Working on it.