Well that's kind of depressing

I'm still around 216.

I know I snack too much. I see food and this compulsion to stuff my face is just too strong to resist.

If I stay out of the kitchen I am fine.

I cook healthy meals.

Unfortunately I also bake delicious cookies. All the time. I just can't help myself.

I run a lot. But that's about it.  I started Insanity with my sister in law on Friday.

I'm also going to start to texting everything I eat to my sister-in-law Allison.

And I'm going to continue running every morning.

And drink 2 liters of water every day.

And then step on the scale in three weeks. I'll let ya know how it goes.

217

well 216.9, but who's counting?

I've had a crappy couple of weeks. Food is calling to me at all times. I had actually gotten down to about 214, but gained almost 3 pounds the last two weeks.

Seriously, if I'm not running around somewhere with my kids - I'm either eating or trying to not think about eating. It's bad. Even right now as I type this - I am fighting the urge to break into the box of Reese's Puff cereal on top of the fridge. And I'm not even at home. It's not even MY food. I should be doing some form of exercise. Every morning I think to myself - I am going to exercise instead of sit on the computer -- but I don't.

It was fun to look at this blog though and see that I'm 10lbs less than my last entry.

I realized that weight loss comes in waves. Sometimes it's really, really hard, and sometimes it feels almost easy. I guess the key is to just keep going - even the really hard times.

We are moving to Arizona soon. It is stressful. Which of course makes me want to eat. Trying to resist.

I would really, really like to lose 20lbs before we get to AZ. I have 6 (ish) weeks. Of course - I am setting an unrealistically high goal. And then I will fail and then I will feel bad about myself and then I will eat more. It's what I do.

I'll post again in like 3 months and let ya know how it's going.

5 more lbs!

I've now lost 10lbs since starting my last weight loss challenge about 5 weeks ago.

I still haven't started working out, just trying to eat better.

Truth is,

I need to get serious.

I'm going to get my stuff to the YMCA 

TODAY.

Okay or tomorrow morning since I have to drive down there anyway to drop off the kid I babysit.

But I'm going to find everything I need to give them

TODAY.

I'm also going to download myfitnesspal onto my phone.

And use it.

Losing 10lbs feels great.

I can't weight for 20lbs.

30lbs.

By Nathan's first birthday I'm hoping for 60lbs.

I know I change my goal like daily. 

That's probably less effective.

Oh well.

First 5 lbs... gone!

So I started a new weight loss challenge with my ward instead of the online one. I'm super excited to be doing this with friends. They did it before when I was pregnant and seriously these girls all lost lots of weight. The ward challenge doesn't start until next Monday though. But I'm in the zone, so I'm going to stay here.

Last week I weighed 231...
Today... 226.

And I totally feel like I can do what I did last week again and again... and even kick it up a notch or two. I'm psyched.

Quote

“Stick to a task 'til it sticks to you. . .for beginners are many, but finishers few.” – President Monson

I love this. I'm a Mormon and President Monson is the prophet and president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I'm sure he wasn't referring to exercise in this quote, but that's what I'm applying it to. Sticking to a task, until it sticks to me. I went to Pittsburgh yesterday with my little family, and met up with my sister-in-law and her kids. It involved eating out twice. I think I made healthy choices. I got a grilled chicken wrap for lunch that had salsa and black beans in it - no dressing or anything that seemed fatty. For dinner at Chili's I got the Quesadilla Explosion Salad. Gave the quesadilla portion to my little nephew, and had the dressing on the side. I didn't have any chips and salsa except for the few chips lovingly shoved into my mouth by my 2 year old. We also got cheese sticks as an appetizer, and I ate one - minus the fried breading part. So I think I did okay... I had a really bad headache while we were traveling and whenever that happens I tend to munch and munch to distract myself. So I ate quite a few handfuls of almonds, and probably one too many whole wheat Ritz crackers. Today I need a battle plan - Weight Loss Shake for breakfast. An apple and TBS of peanut butter for morning snack. Chicken salad for lunch. Reliv shake for a snack. And then small portion of whatever looks healthy at the ward party tonight. No dessert!!! I need to get past the feeling of needing a dessert. I always feel like I need something sweet to finish a meal. I need to break that habit.

I also realized I don't even know what hungry feels like. I just always eat. I never let myself go long enough to actually feel hunger - like ever. So I'm trying really hard to pay attention to how I'm feeling. I feel like I've been feeling STARVING the past few days.. but I think about it. How am I actually feeling? Am I hungry or just wanting to eat? What does hunger even feel like? If I'm sitting on the computer and all I want to do is look at yummy recipes on Pinterest, does that mean I'm hungry? I'm also paying attention to how food actually tastes. Like taking time to chew. What a concept. I remember when I did weight watchers a few years ago the lady hosting, or teaching or whatever you call it when you lead a Weight Watchers meeting talked about how important it is to chew. She said once she started doing this she realized she didn't like pizza! She had been eating it for 30 years, but then when she took time to actually chew it and think about it - she realized she didn't even like it! That made me laugh then, and makes me laugh more so now. I scarf down my food so often, I don't even feel satisfied after having ate, because I didn't take time to enjoy it. 

And I think I'm going to up my goal. I want to lose 5 lbs a week.  So that would be 60 lbs in 12 weeks. Oh my that would just be amazing! So that's what I'm shooting for. 

Started a weight loss challenge.

I love when something just clicks. Right now it's clicked. I'm in the mindset where I want to lose this weight more than I want anything else. I feel like as soon as that happens, it's a lot easier to say no to the cravings. So challenge started on Monday. My beginning stats...

Weight - 231.5
Waist - 45 in
Size - 16-18

That was taken on  Monday. I weighed myself this morning and I've already lost 3lbs! Current weight is 228. Love losing those first three pounds.

Here is my "before" picture. My goal is to lose 30 lbs with this challenge. I have 12 weeks to do it. So it's a pretty lofty goal. Right now I'm just focusing on eating less. Measuring out an actual serving, etc. I also take a nutritional supplement, Reliv, that has helped me lose weight before. I am going to be perfect about taking it. And I need to renew my membership to the YMCA. Hopefully on Monday I can start really working out too.

Let's get real

So we still have no scale at our house - but we do have our Wii Fit. I finally stuck some batteries in that sucker this morning. I've gained 16lbs since my last WiiFit weigh in over 700 days ago. Considering I was pregnant with Abigail during my last weigh in... and have now just had a baby... that's not terrible. Right? But I feel like desire to start working out. Last night I strapped my baby to my chest and started going up and down the stairs right outside the bathroom door while the girls were playing in the tub. I got a good 10 minutes of running up and down the stairs. Then wrestling three kids into PJ's... I'd call that a pretty good work out. I think if I do that every night during bath time I might see some results. Plus it was fun.

I have guilt issues with putting my kids in the gym day care. Especially my newborn. So for now this will work. My eating habits kind of stink. Working on that too. I think I'm just going to go back to writing everything down that I eat.

baby's here

So I have like 30 seconds to update, probably. So quickly -- Baby boy was born Dec. 17th. I was probably pushing 250 when I delivered him. I am not around 230. I still don't have a working scale in my home. BUT... I feel GREAT about my body.

It's larger than it's ever been, without having another person inside it, and yet I feel beautiful. This should be a good thing. But I keep freaking out. I'm like wow I LOOK GOOD! And then I'm like... but I'm 230lbs... and that's FAT. I shouldn't think I look good. Isn't that a silly thought process? If I feel pretty, I should feel pretty no matter what number is on the scale.

I'm also glad I lost that first 20lbs so effortlessly. Now it's time to start working. I do want to be thinner, even if I feel pretty at this weight. I want to be healthy. I want my knee pain to go away. I want more energy.

I'm nursing this baby boy so diet options are kind of limited, but healthy eating is always good.

Okay baby is screaming, just as predicted. Hopefully I'll update here more often.