My awesome week.

So I called a friend's midwife and I'm in love with her. She told me simply that Kim had no right to talk to me like that. And that gaining 10lbs while pregnant and on vacation is no reason for concern. And she also told me she knows Kim, and that quite frankly she can be a total "b". I felt better immediately. She seems awesome.

This week I have totally rocked it. I'm just sayin. But I went to the gym 3 times. And I sweat my booty off all three times. And I loved it. I did my pelvic rocking exercise that I swear saves my back, takes me all of 2 minutes, but for some reason I haven't been that great at doing it until this week. I've made a huge effort to add lots of raw fruit and veggies to my diet. No matter what else I eat, I add a piece of fruit or some veggies to it. I think this really helped me in my awesome week. I haven't stopped eating carbs all together, but I've cut back and have been filling up on protein.

But my scale is dead again. I think it might be time for a new one. We seem to be going through batteries a little too quickly. So I have no clue what I weigh, but for right now I'm okay with that.

I also just found this website http://www.ourfamilyeats.com/ And I'm going to give their challenge a try. I need to talk to Aaron, but I think he will be on board. It really is appalling what's in those darn fruit snacks and every other snacky thing like that my children love. Seriously juice boxes and fruit snacks are like crack around here, and have to be guarded under lock and key (okay just stop shelf, but still..). For this reason alone, I've debated in my mind to stop buying them... but after reading all this my decision is becoming more firm in my mind.

I know this is silly, but I really don't want to become one of "those people" who don't let their kids eat anything fun. I have a very laid back parenting style as it is, and this just seems not me. But I really can't justify letting my kids eat petroleum. We are really picky about medicine and vaccinations, so why would I think eating stuff that may contain mercury, arsenic, and other known carcinogens is okay? This is also going to be hard because it seems my kids live for ice pops and fruit snacks. And they don't really have behavior problems. Most of the time. I don't think. But we have been good about giving Olivia her Reliv the past few days and she's been acting sweeter and more obedient than normal. I do believe behavior and nutrition are more related than we think.

So we'll give it a go. I'm not sure we'll start this week because Aaron just brought a box of those blasted fruit snacks yesterday and I doubt he'll want to waste them and throw them out or something. But as soon as this box is gone I am vowing to not buy fruit snacks or juice boxes from here on out.

Yeah. I'm still fat. But now I have a new excuse!!

I weighed 234 on my doctors scale at my last midwife appointment. *dies a little inside*

That is officially the highest my weight has ever been. Even at the end of each of my pregnancies.

Have I told you, little blog of mine, that I'm pregnant? With our third baby? Our first son? Yes, I'm really excited too. But depressed at the same time. I was doing pretty well at the beginning with working out and eating fairly healthy. Then we moved to NJ for 5 weeks. Where all motivation and will power went out the window. I still tried not to go overboard. Ya know... only say yes once a day when my grandmother offered me a Klondike bar. Anywhoo - weighed myself every day and I stayed the same the entire 5 weeks I was there. So I thought that was pretty good. Then I went to AZ. Where I promptly went overboard. And ate all the Mexican food I could. And then went back to NJ and NYC and indulged a little here and a little there... adding up to a 12 pound weight gain in 8 weeks.

Which made my midwife flip out on me. Like seriously this woman talked to me the way you would talk to a disobedient child. I never felt so... belittled in my life. I keep playing the conversation over in my head. I really don't like the way she talked to me. But maybe I need someone like this to help me stay on track while I'm pregnant? Tough love? I don't know because I've really been sad since that appointment. But I've also been eating a lot of salad and protein. So... I don't know. Part of me wants to lose 10lbs before my next visit and really show her! Then another part of me wants to eat chocolate cake for the rest of my life and never go back there again.

Must stop myself

I am out of control today. I never, ever, buy food that is just purely junk. But today I broke that rule and went nutso at the grocery store. We were going to the zoo and we just needed yummy zoo treats. Ya know? So we got a bag of my all time fav candy, Swedish Fish. And a box of random chocolate cookies that Olivia picked out. A big bag of pretzels. We also got peaches, so it wasn't a total junk fest. But... I have eaten more than my full of Swedish Fish, and pretzels. It kills me that my stomach is full of empty calories! So I need to turn it around. It's not too late. All is not lost.

The real reason behind all this too... I was 218 this morning. So I was feeling good about myself, since I was less than I have been weighing recently. Good logic, huh? Okay so now I am turning it around, and going to make healthy choices for the rest of the day. Including getting off the computer and playing with my kids. The weather here is AMAZING today. No humidity. Sunny. Cool breeze. Just lovely.

about that IV...

I was only half joking. Think I could get a milkshake IV? Well maybe not an IV because then I wouldn't get the pleasure of enjoying every sip. Maybe one of those hats with the straws that come down, full of chocolate milkshake. I don't know why I crave sweets so bad... blogging about it instead of eating it for now.

updates

So I weigh myself every day just to keep myself accountable. I'm still struggling with sweets. I just crave them SO bad. In general really. But extra, extra bad when pregnant. Like seriously get me a milkshake IV and we'll all be happier. I even sent a text to Aaron the other day, "Sometimes the hardest part of my day is NOT buying a chocolate bar at the checkout aisle." So it goes. Anyway, back to weighing myself... my weight fluctuates daily from 217 - 220. Seriously one day it's 217 and then the next 220. Today was 220. I am generally more careful on 220 days :)  Plus I go to the doctor on Friday and my midwife threatened to yell at me if I gain weight already... she's joking but really I'm a little scared.

I have been really, really good at working out. Like Ashley said in her comment, you really have to train for birth. I have been doing some yoga, lots of walking and swimming and a little lifting. I want to work out every day, excluding Sunday, until this baby comes. It helps that I have a good friend who likes to go to the gym with me. I could probably push myself harder than I do most days, but I'm giving myself credit for at least getting to the gym about 5-6 times a week. And let me tell ya getting 2 kids dressed, and loaded up in the car is a workout in itself.

Today we have a birthday party to go to. I will be strong and resist the urge to eat cupcakes. I also found this recipe for cookie dough cupcakes that I must not make. There's like 6 sticks of butter between the frosting and the cupcakes. Must resist buttery goodness....

Anyone there?

I have a really good reason I haven't updated this blog. And since I'm pretty sure there are only like 4 of you reading I think I can safely put it here, before I put it on my other blog, or facebook or anyone else out there in the internet. But we are expecting baby #3 this Dec! Super excited, and in denial, and just... whoa I'm going to have THREE CHILDREN! It freaks me out.

But my midwife is going to work with me and help me stay on track with my weight during this pregnancy. She wants me to gain about 10lbs. Total. Well at first she said 10-15 and I told her I had already gained 5 lbs since I found out, and she said, okay then 10! On their scale I was 223. But that was fully clothed, in the afternoon. On my home scale, that I have been using for this blog, I am 219. So 3 lbs higher than my lowest since this blog. I am hoping to stay around there for as long as possible. Obviously I'm not really "dieting". But I am trying to eat healthy. I have a really hard time when I'm pregnant. Esp these early weeks when nothing really sounds good at all... except junk. So I'm trying really hard to just think of food as medicine. And eating for nourishment not really enjoyment. I have been going to the gym about 4 times a week. I usually aim for 6, and then if I get 4 that's great.

So now that the cats out of the bag I'll try to update more often.

Finally budged

I've been at death's door with the most horrible cold in the history of the world for almost a week. Seriously it's the worst cold I've had in a looooong time. So I haven't been working out the past few days. But I've been sticking to the diet, drinking lots of water and taking my vitamins.

Weighed myself this morning...

216!

Today for exercise I mopped the floors and put on music and danced while I cleaned the playroom. It wasn't a very hard workout but I did sweat, and it's about all I can handle with this sinus pressure. I'm happy today.