Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Sometimes I forget anyone reads this blog

So I kind of think of this as my private blog. Even though I know it isn't private at all. And I don't want it to be. I like the accountability of knowing people are reading. But then sometimes I have to remember I have an audience and maybe I should be more specific about things. IDK. Anyway ... the sugar fast is still going. I'm slightly dying to bake cookies. Seriously. Every night after dinner I crave something sweet like crazy. But I'm going until Feb. We're doing it. It's been fun to do with Aaron really. And we usually eat ice cream at least once a week. I miss it. I'm hoping it's true what they say, about staying away from refined sugars, you stop craving them after a month or so. We'll see. And in full disclosure, I cheated a little. More like forgot. That Kool-Aid has a lot of sugar. And drinks totally count. But that's been it.

I'm always working on improving myself. I think I need to work a bit more on loving myself. I'm not giving up on my weight loss journey. But I need to do something mentally. I'm always thinking about my weight. I don't know how to stop thinking about my weight. Seriously, it's everything. I'll even be feeling good about myself, like "Wow I cooked such a healthy delicious dinner tonight... but I'm fat." Or "I'm a great mom!... but I'm fat." Or worse... "I suck at doing laundry AND I'm fat!"

I don't know how to make it go away. I'm going to try to just stop thinking that one phrase. I'm going to try to focus on the positive things about my body. And I'm going to continue to exercise, eat right, yadda yadda yadda.

This week I'm focusing on exercise. I haven't made it to Jazzercise this week yet, but I'm going tomorrow. I did dance with my kids last night for 30 minutes, and I did sit ups tonight. I'm trying to just do SOMETHING every day. Somedays it may be a really hard workout like Jazzercise or 30 Day Shred, some days it might just be sit ups while watching Monk on Netflix. But something every day.

Now it's time for bed.

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