So apparently my header made in paint isn't supported by blogger.. or maybe it's just my computer... but anyway ignore that for now.
I've SUCKED at everything health-wise lately. Every single night around this time (10:32pm) I make promises to myself. Tomorrow I will drink lots of water. Tomorrow I will exercise. Tomorrow I will up on protein.
And then I wake up in the morning... and eat cookie dough for breakfast. And wash it down with a baked cookie. And maybe a tad more cookie dough. I really need to learn to stop baking cookies. Something happens to me when the temperature dips below 60 degrees, I feel a need to bake. I need to fix that.
I also haven't weighed myself at all since that last time I updated with my weight. The batteries in our scale died around the same time, and I just haven't ever remembered to get the right batteries while out. And truthfully I'm not sure I want to know. I'm thinking at this point I will wait until after the baby is born, and then a couple of weeks.
My new midwife sees no reason in tracking a woman's weight while pregnant. She says it doesn't tell us anything. She takes my blood pressure and checks for swelling and all that, but she says as long as I'm feeling fine that's a better indicator than a number on a scale. And I love her for that.
But I really need to exercise more. Seriously it is sad how out of breath I get going up my stairs. Or trying to put a fitted sheet on our king sized bed. I'm telling you that was a sight. I need to just start walking. Or anything. I pretty much have a goal everyday of moving as little as possible. And that is not a healthy goal. Probably normal for someone who is 8 months pregnant for the third time since 2007.But still... I need to be working on it.
Okay goals for tomorrow: drink more water. Move. Maybe now that I promised you, blog, I will do it.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
My awesome week.
So I called a friend's midwife and I'm in love with her. She told me simply that Kim had no right to talk to me like that. And that gaining 10lbs while pregnant and on vacation is no reason for concern. And she also told me she knows Kim, and that quite frankly she can be a total "b". I felt better immediately. She seems awesome.
This week I have totally rocked it. I'm just sayin. But I went to the gym 3 times. And I sweat my booty off all three times. And I loved it. I did my pelvic rocking exercise that I swear saves my back, takes me all of 2 minutes, but for some reason I haven't been that great at doing it until this week. I've made a huge effort to add lots of raw fruit and veggies to my diet. No matter what else I eat, I add a piece of fruit or some veggies to it. I think this really helped me in my awesome week. I haven't stopped eating carbs all together, but I've cut back and have been filling up on protein.
But my scale is dead again. I think it might be time for a new one. We seem to be going through batteries a little too quickly. So I have no clue what I weigh, but for right now I'm okay with that.
I also just found this website http://www.ourfamilyeats.com/ And I'm going to give their challenge a try. I need to talk to Aaron, but I think he will be on board. It really is appalling what's in those darn fruit snacks and every other snacky thing like that my children love. Seriously juice boxes and fruit snacks are like crack around here, and have to be guarded under lock and key (okay just stop shelf, but still..). For this reason alone, I've debated in my mind to stop buying them... but after reading all this my decision is becoming more firm in my mind.
I know this is silly, but I really don't want to become one of "those people" who don't let their kids eat anything fun. I have a very laid back parenting style as it is, and this just seems not me. But I really can't justify letting my kids eat petroleum. We are really picky about medicine and vaccinations, so why would I think eating stuff that may contain mercury, arsenic, and other known carcinogens is okay? This is also going to be hard because it seems my kids live for ice pops and fruit snacks. And they don't really have behavior problems. Most of the time. I don't think. But we have been good about giving Olivia her Reliv the past few days and she's been acting sweeter and more obedient than normal. I do believe behavior and nutrition are more related than we think.
So we'll give it a go. I'm not sure we'll start this week because Aaron just brought a box of those blasted fruit snacks yesterday and I doubt he'll want to waste them and throw them out or something. But as soon as this box is gone I am vowing to not buy fruit snacks or juice boxes from here on out.
This week I have totally rocked it. I'm just sayin. But I went to the gym 3 times. And I sweat my booty off all three times. And I loved it. I did my pelvic rocking exercise that I swear saves my back, takes me all of 2 minutes, but for some reason I haven't been that great at doing it until this week. I've made a huge effort to add lots of raw fruit and veggies to my diet. No matter what else I eat, I add a piece of fruit or some veggies to it. I think this really helped me in my awesome week. I haven't stopped eating carbs all together, but I've cut back and have been filling up on protein.
But my scale is dead again. I think it might be time for a new one. We seem to be going through batteries a little too quickly. So I have no clue what I weigh, but for right now I'm okay with that.
I also just found this website http://www.ourfamilyeats.com/ And I'm going to give their challenge a try. I need to talk to Aaron, but I think he will be on board. It really is appalling what's in those darn fruit snacks and every other snacky thing like that my children love. Seriously juice boxes and fruit snacks are like crack around here, and have to be guarded under lock and key (okay just stop shelf, but still..). For this reason alone, I've debated in my mind to stop buying them... but after reading all this my decision is becoming more firm in my mind.
I know this is silly, but I really don't want to become one of "those people" who don't let their kids eat anything fun. I have a very laid back parenting style as it is, and this just seems not me. But I really can't justify letting my kids eat petroleum. We are really picky about medicine and vaccinations, so why would I think eating stuff that may contain mercury, arsenic, and other known carcinogens is okay? This is also going to be hard because it seems my kids live for ice pops and fruit snacks. And they don't really have behavior problems. Most of the time. I don't think. But we have been good about giving Olivia her Reliv the past few days and she's been acting sweeter and more obedient than normal. I do believe behavior and nutrition are more related than we think.
So we'll give it a go. I'm not sure we'll start this week because Aaron just brought a box of those blasted fruit snacks yesterday and I doubt he'll want to waste them and throw them out or something. But as soon as this box is gone I am vowing to not buy fruit snacks or juice boxes from here on out.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Yeah. I'm still fat. But now I have a new excuse!!
I weighed 234 on my doctors scale at my last midwife appointment. *dies a little inside*
That is officially the highest my weight has ever been. Even at the end of each of my pregnancies.
Have I told you, little blog of mine, that I'm pregnant? With our third baby? Our first son? Yes, I'm really excited too. But depressed at the same time. I was doing pretty well at the beginning with working out and eating fairly healthy. Then we moved to NJ for 5 weeks. Where all motivation and will power went out the window. I still tried not to go overboard. Ya know... only say yes once a day when my grandmother offered me a Klondike bar. Anywhoo - weighed myself every day and I stayed the same the entire 5 weeks I was there. So I thought that was pretty good. Then I went to AZ. Where I promptly went overboard. And ate all the Mexican food I could. And then went back to NJ and NYC and indulged a little here and a little there... adding up to a 12 pound weight gain in 8 weeks.
Which made my midwife flip out on me. Like seriously this woman talked to me the way you would talk to a disobedient child. I never felt so... belittled in my life. I keep playing the conversation over in my head. I really don't like the way she talked to me. But maybe I need someone like this to help me stay on track while I'm pregnant? Tough love? I don't know because I've really been sad since that appointment. But I've also been eating a lot of salad and protein. So... I don't know. Part of me wants to lose 10lbs before my next visit and really show her! Then another part of me wants to eat chocolate cake for the rest of my life and never go back there again.
That is officially the highest my weight has ever been. Even at the end of each of my pregnancies.
Have I told you, little blog of mine, that I'm pregnant? With our third baby? Our first son? Yes, I'm really excited too. But depressed at the same time. I was doing pretty well at the beginning with working out and eating fairly healthy. Then we moved to NJ for 5 weeks. Where all motivation and will power went out the window. I still tried not to go overboard. Ya know... only say yes once a day when my grandmother offered me a Klondike bar. Anywhoo - weighed myself every day and I stayed the same the entire 5 weeks I was there. So I thought that was pretty good. Then I went to AZ. Where I promptly went overboard. And ate all the Mexican food I could. And then went back to NJ and NYC and indulged a little here and a little there... adding up to a 12 pound weight gain in 8 weeks.
Which made my midwife flip out on me. Like seriously this woman talked to me the way you would talk to a disobedient child. I never felt so... belittled in my life. I keep playing the conversation over in my head. I really don't like the way she talked to me. But maybe I need someone like this to help me stay on track while I'm pregnant? Tough love? I don't know because I've really been sad since that appointment. But I've also been eating a lot of salad and protein. So... I don't know. Part of me wants to lose 10lbs before my next visit and really show her! Then another part of me wants to eat chocolate cake for the rest of my life and never go back there again.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Must stop myself
I am out of control today. I never, ever, buy food that is just purely junk. But today I broke that rule and went nutso at the grocery store. We were going to the zoo and we just needed yummy zoo treats. Ya know? So we got a bag of my all time fav candy, Swedish Fish. And a box of random chocolate cookies that Olivia picked out. A big bag of pretzels. We also got peaches, so it wasn't a total junk fest. But... I have eaten more than my full of Swedish Fish, and pretzels. It kills me that my stomach is full of empty calories! So I need to turn it around. It's not too late. All is not lost.
The real reason behind all this too... I was 218 this morning. So I was feeling good about myself, since I was less than I have been weighing recently. Good logic, huh? Okay so now I am turning it around, and going to make healthy choices for the rest of the day. Including getting off the computer and playing with my kids. The weather here is AMAZING today. No humidity. Sunny. Cool breeze. Just lovely.
The real reason behind all this too... I was 218 this morning. So I was feeling good about myself, since I was less than I have been weighing recently. Good logic, huh? Okay so now I am turning it around, and going to make healthy choices for the rest of the day. Including getting off the computer and playing with my kids. The weather here is AMAZING today. No humidity. Sunny. Cool breeze. Just lovely.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
about that IV...
I was only half joking. Think I could get a milkshake IV? Well maybe not an IV because then I wouldn't get the pleasure of enjoying every sip. Maybe one of those hats with the straws that come down, full of chocolate milkshake. I don't know why I crave sweets so bad... blogging about it instead of eating it for now.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
updates
So I weigh myself every day just to keep myself accountable. I'm still struggling with sweets. I just crave them SO bad. In general really. But extra, extra bad when pregnant. Like seriously get me a milkshake IV and we'll all be happier. I even sent a text to Aaron the other day, "Sometimes the hardest part of my day is NOT buying a chocolate bar at the checkout aisle." So it goes. Anyway, back to weighing myself... my weight fluctuates daily from 217 - 220. Seriously one day it's 217 and then the next 220. Today was 220. I am generally more careful on 220 days :) Plus I go to the doctor on Friday and my midwife threatened to yell at me if I gain weight already... she's joking but really I'm a little scared.
I have been really, really good at working out. Like Ashley said in her comment, you really have to train for birth. I have been doing some yoga, lots of walking and swimming and a little lifting. I want to work out every day, excluding Sunday, until this baby comes. It helps that I have a good friend who likes to go to the gym with me. I could probably push myself harder than I do most days, but I'm giving myself credit for at least getting to the gym about 5-6 times a week. And let me tell ya getting 2 kids dressed, and loaded up in the car is a workout in itself.
Today we have a birthday party to go to. I will be strong and resist the urge to eat cupcakes. I also found this recipe for cookie dough cupcakes that I must not make. There's like 6 sticks of butter between the frosting and the cupcakes. Must resist buttery goodness....
I have been really, really good at working out. Like Ashley said in her comment, you really have to train for birth. I have been doing some yoga, lots of walking and swimming and a little lifting. I want to work out every day, excluding Sunday, until this baby comes. It helps that I have a good friend who likes to go to the gym with me. I could probably push myself harder than I do most days, but I'm giving myself credit for at least getting to the gym about 5-6 times a week. And let me tell ya getting 2 kids dressed, and loaded up in the car is a workout in itself.
Today we have a birthday party to go to. I will be strong and resist the urge to eat cupcakes. I also found this recipe for cookie dough cupcakes that I must not make. There's like 6 sticks of butter between the frosting and the cupcakes. Must resist buttery goodness....
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Anyone there?
I have a really good reason I haven't updated this blog. And since I'm pretty sure there are only like 4 of you reading I think I can safely put it here, before I put it on my other blog, or facebook or anyone else out there in the internet. But we are expecting baby #3 this Dec! Super excited, and in denial, and just... whoa I'm going to have THREE CHILDREN! It freaks me out.
But my midwife is going to work with me and help me stay on track with my weight during this pregnancy. She wants me to gain about 10lbs. Total. Well at first she said 10-15 and I told her I had already gained 5 lbs since I found out, and she said, okay then 10! On their scale I was 223. But that was fully clothed, in the afternoon. On my home scale, that I have been using for this blog, I am 219. So 3 lbs higher than my lowest since this blog. I am hoping to stay around there for as long as possible. Obviously I'm not really "dieting". But I am trying to eat healthy. I have a really hard time when I'm pregnant. Esp these early weeks when nothing really sounds good at all... except junk. So I'm trying really hard to just think of food as medicine. And eating for nourishment not really enjoyment. I have been going to the gym about 4 times a week. I usually aim for 6, and then if I get 4 that's great.
So now that the cats out of the bag I'll try to update more often.
But my midwife is going to work with me and help me stay on track with my weight during this pregnancy. She wants me to gain about 10lbs. Total. Well at first she said 10-15 and I told her I had already gained 5 lbs since I found out, and she said, okay then 10! On their scale I was 223. But that was fully clothed, in the afternoon. On my home scale, that I have been using for this blog, I am 219. So 3 lbs higher than my lowest since this blog. I am hoping to stay around there for as long as possible. Obviously I'm not really "dieting". But I am trying to eat healthy. I have a really hard time when I'm pregnant. Esp these early weeks when nothing really sounds good at all... except junk. So I'm trying really hard to just think of food as medicine. And eating for nourishment not really enjoyment. I have been going to the gym about 4 times a week. I usually aim for 6, and then if I get 4 that's great.
So now that the cats out of the bag I'll try to update more often.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Finally budged
I've been at death's door with the most horrible cold in the history of the world for almost a week. Seriously it's the worst cold I've had in a looooong time. So I haven't been working out the past few days. But I've been sticking to the diet, drinking lots of water and taking my vitamins.
Weighed myself this morning...
216!
Today for exercise I mopped the floors and put on music and danced while I cleaned the playroom. It wasn't a very hard workout but I did sweat, and it's about all I can handle with this sinus pressure. I'm happy today.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Working out
So we joined the Y. And I found a friend to work out with. I also have my husband supporting me. My SIL and I have a buddy system where we congratulate each other via text for working out. I call my mom every time I work out. I have another friend I email once a week updating on our weight loss efforts. And I have you, my lovely little, sometimes forgotten blog. So looks like I'm in a good position to lose some weight. Right? Monday night I went to a Pilates class. It was canceled. So I spent 30 minutes on the elliptical, and did some ab work. Tuesday I went to a kick boxing class. Today I went to an xbike class. My rear is still yelling at me to never do that again. I'm hoping with time it will get easier. It was intense. Probably the hardest I have worked out in 30 minutes. I loved it though. It was fun. High energy. And fast. I can do hard things for 30 minutes. Except now I don't feel like moving. At all. Good thing sitting still isn't really an option with two little kids. I want to do a yoga class tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.
Oh and I'm STILL 218. I can NOT wait to not see that number anymore. I did eat some sweets yesterday at a baby shower. Nothing crazy. One piece of candy. One little blackberry tart type thing. And lots of snap peas. Not bad. Now what to make for dinner tonight...?
Oh and I'm STILL 218. I can NOT wait to not see that number anymore. I did eat some sweets yesterday at a baby shower. Nothing crazy. One piece of candy. One little blackberry tart type thing. And lots of snap peas. Not bad. Now what to make for dinner tonight...?
Friday, March 25, 2011
plateau?
I don't know if I can really consider it a plateau since I've cheated a teenie bit every day. I haven't had a perfect day in weeks. And I'm still 218. I've already cheated today and it's 8:50am. But by all I had was a glass of OJ. And a pear. So I'm not beating myself up, but really I want to get back to being hardcore about it because losing 10lbs was fun and I'd really like to do it again, and again, and again. Just not the same 10lbs. Anyway, we filled out an application for the YMCA here and I can't wait to hear back from them. I seriously can't wait. I am going to quit Jazzercise. It was really nice, but the class times aren't that convenient for me and truthfully I don't remember the last time I went to a class. Now, I realize there are always a million excuses, and joining the Y isn't going to magically make me start working out. But I think it's going to help. They have like a thousand classes. Child care. An awesome gym area. A pool.
I am literally fascinating about dropping my kids off at the child care working out for an hour, and then taking a shower!! Without being interrupted. Heaven. That sounds like heaven. We'll see often it happens. Plus Aaron can come with me. That will be fun. I hope this all plays out the way I'm imagining.
So yeah, current weight still 218.
I am literally fascinating about dropping my kids off at the child care working out for an hour, and then taking a shower!! Without being interrupted. Heaven. That sounds like heaven. We'll see often it happens. Plus Aaron can come with me. That will be fun. I hope this all plays out the way I'm imagining.
So yeah, current weight still 218.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Fat Head
So I watched the Fat Head documentary on Netflix. I recommend everyone watch it. It was pretty entertaining, and just eye opening. It brought up an issue I have been conflicted with since I started this weight loss journey. That weight loss is more than just calories in vs calories burned. I have always thought as much, but it was nice to see some science behind it. It also talked about the government and its play in what we consider "healthy". It was really very interesting. He also showed how eating low carb helps you lose weight.
Which, by the way, I have am really loving. Eating low carb, that is. I am never hungry, I feel like this is something I can stick with long term. During Olivia's birthday I did gain a pound. But I've lost it again, plus another. It's easy to get back on track. I am not following Atkins to a science. I don't really count my carbs, or my ounces of cheese. I mostly just avoid starches. I have been happy with the results
Current weight - 218
Which, by the way, I have am really loving. Eating low carb, that is. I am never hungry, I feel like this is something I can stick with long term. During Olivia's birthday I did gain a pound. But I've lost it again, plus another. It's easy to get back on track. I am not following Atkins to a science. I don't really count my carbs, or my ounces of cheese. I mostly just avoid starches. I have been happy with the results
Current weight - 218
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Back on track
So for my daughter's birthday I kind of didn't really care what I ate. I had a piece of her birthday cake. And two slices of pizza. I really didn't go overboard. I gained a pound. But today I was back on track. For breakfast I went out with my family and had eggs and bacon. I didn't even eat a single potato. Nor did I want one.
I just really want to be skinny this summer.
I am defining skinny by being able to sit on the edge of my bed and look in the mirror and not feel sick at the sight of myself. That's all I'm asking for here, people.
My husband has lost 16 lbs so far. I am proud of him. Seriously doing this together has made such a difference. It's fun to encourage each other. And I feel appreciated when I have to get all creative with dinner ideas.
Areas I need to improve - exercise and supplements. And I could probably drink more water. Also, I am staying in this "Induction" phase until I am below 200 lbs. I just decided that. Then I'll gradually start adding more carbs. But starting tomorrow -- no starting right now -- I am going to do better at the supplements. My body needs it. I have been feeling crappy. Not related to the low carb eating. I have been feeling crappy for a while. Just tired. Remember I think I posted about a while ago? I did make myself a doctor's appointment but the earliest they could see me is April 7th. So maybe April 7th I'll find out I have something wrong with me. In the mean time I know exercise and supplements will help me feel better.
I just really want to be skinny this summer.
I am defining skinny by being able to sit on the edge of my bed and look in the mirror and not feel sick at the sight of myself. That's all I'm asking for here, people.
My husband has lost 16 lbs so far. I am proud of him. Seriously doing this together has made such a difference. It's fun to encourage each other. And I feel appreciated when I have to get all creative with dinner ideas.
Areas I need to improve - exercise and supplements. And I could probably drink more water. Also, I am staying in this "Induction" phase until I am below 200 lbs. I just decided that. Then I'll gradually start adding more carbs. But starting tomorrow -- no starting right now -- I am going to do better at the supplements. My body needs it. I have been feeling crappy. Not related to the low carb eating. I have been feeling crappy for a while. Just tired. Remember I think I posted about a while ago? I did make myself a doctor's appointment but the earliest they could see me is April 7th. So maybe April 7th I'll find out I have something wrong with me. In the mean time I know exercise and supplements will help me feel better.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
milestone
We started Atkin's two weeks ago. I am officially down 10lbs! Woo that feels good. Plus I just started... ya know started, and I don't think you are supposed to weigh yourself during this time. Retaining water and all that. So maybe I actually weigh even less, but right now... Current weight 219! I have also lost 3 inches from my waist. Since the end of January. That was the last time I measured.
Feeling pretty good today. Today should be the end of "induction". And now I'm not sure where to go or what to do. Instead of eggs this morning I had cereal. Which is not part of the diet at all. My serving had like 30 carbs. But I'm going to see what happens with my weight loss if I continue to do everything else, just have cereal once in a while. Eggs every day gets old fast.
Last night we had my famous Alfredo sauce with spaghetti squash. Definitely not my favorite, but it was okay.
Feeling pretty good today. Today should be the end of "induction". And now I'm not sure where to go or what to do. Instead of eggs this morning I had cereal. Which is not part of the diet at all. My serving had like 30 carbs. But I'm going to see what happens with my weight loss if I continue to do everything else, just have cereal once in a while. Eggs every day gets old fast.
Last night we had my famous Alfredo sauce with spaghetti squash. Definitely not my favorite, but it was okay.
Friday, March 4, 2011
My favorite foods
Right now I'm living on scrambled eggs for breakfast, turkey and lettuce for lunch, and some random concoction for dinner. Tonight it will be a roasted chicken and cauliflower rice and salad. Cauliflower has become a favorite food of mine. It's so diverse! This past week we've had mashed cauliflower and cauliflower rice. I also like to add sausage, mushroom and peppers to my eggs. The only thing I'm really struggling with is wanting to snack. On pretzels in particular. I brought a big bag for my kids. And they call to me daily. I won't like, I've eaten like 4 of them in the past two days. But they are mini kind. Super tiny. And I literally ate at most 5. So I won't beat myself up over that. I also really need to get my butt in gear and start working out more. I've been pretty lazy when it comes to that area. But since last Tuesday I've lost 9 pounds. I am 220. Almost back to my lowest since starting this blog. So I'm happy with how this is working. Also, my hubby has lost about 12 lbs in the same time frame! It has been great doing this together. It's also been fun coming up with new dinner ideas.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Sugar Free BBQ Sauce.
This recipe is YUM-O.
Ingredients:
- 2 strips of thick bacon, chopped fine (or see note)
- 1 small onion, minced
- 1 clove garlic, minced or 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 small can (6 oz) tomato paste
- 1 can (12 oz) diet (sugar-free) cola - Splenda-sweetened preferred
- 1/4 cup low carb (sugar-free) catsup, (or see note)
- 3 T mustard
- 1 Tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
- 1 pinch ground cloves
- Hot sauce to taste
Preparation:
Note 1: If you prefer to leave the bacon out, add 1-3 teaspoons of liquid smoke, to taste, near the end of the cooking. Alternatively, add some smoky flavor using 1 teaspoon of smoked paprika, or chipotle powder to taste.
Note 2: If you can't find low carb catsup, leave it out, but add about a tablespoon of vinegar and some sweetener, to taste.
1) Fry the bacon in a saucepan - a 2 qt pan works well.
2) Add the onion and cook over medium until soft - 3-5 minutes. Add garlic at this point if you're using fresh and stir it for half a minute or so.
3) Add the rest of the ingredients, plus about half a cup of water. Stir well. 4) Simmer for 20-30 minutes. It will cook down a bit and flavors will combine. 5) Adjust the seasonings so you have the balance you want - you can add vinegar, artificial sweetener (liquid preferred), or hot sauce. (If it's too hot, adding more sweetener will tone it down.)
The recipe makes approximately 10 servings of 1/4 cup each. Each serving has about 3.5 grams of carbohydrate plus 1 gram of fiber.
Note 2: If you can't find low carb catsup, leave it out, but add about a tablespoon of vinegar and some sweetener, to taste.
1) Fry the bacon in a saucepan - a 2 qt pan works well.
2) Add the onion and cook over medium until soft - 3-5 minutes. Add garlic at this point if you're using fresh and stir it for half a minute or so.
3) Add the rest of the ingredients, plus about half a cup of water. Stir well. 4) Simmer for 20-30 minutes. It will cook down a bit and flavors will combine. 5) Adjust the seasonings so you have the balance you want - you can add vinegar, artificial sweetener (liquid preferred), or hot sauce. (If it's too hot, adding more sweetener will tone it down.)
The recipe makes approximately 10 servings of 1/4 cup each. Each serving has about 3.5 grams of carbohydrate plus 1 gram of fiber.
I made a few adjustments. I didn't use ketchup at all. I used vinegar and a little splenda.
I also don't like mustard very much so I only added about 1 T.
It doesn't taste exactly like a jar of BBQ sauce, but I might even say I like it better.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Why I don't miss bread
Week 1 of Atkins complete.
I was ashamed to tell you all that I was back at 229. No matter what happened as long as I wasn't at that number again I felt okay. Like, alright at least I'm still not back right where I was. At least I'm still a couple pounds below that. And then I was there. That was last Monday night.
Today - 222.3 (I know I'm weighing myself too often, meh, I like weighing myself every day and then looking at the week).
That's about 7 pounds in a week. Woohoooo! And I really don't miss any of the bread. The hardest part of this "Induction" stage is not eating stuff that I feel like is good for me. Like beans, nuts, and fruit. I will add that stuff next week. I would LOVE to lose another 7 el-bee's this week. We'll see.I know this fast weight loss doesn't last long.
I was ashamed to tell you all that I was back at 229. No matter what happened as long as I wasn't at that number again I felt okay. Like, alright at least I'm still not back right where I was. At least I'm still a couple pounds below that. And then I was there. That was last Monday night.
Today - 222.3 (I know I'm weighing myself too often, meh, I like weighing myself every day and then looking at the week).
That's about 7 pounds in a week. Woohoooo! And I really don't miss any of the bread. The hardest part of this "Induction" stage is not eating stuff that I feel like is good for me. Like beans, nuts, and fruit. I will add that stuff next week. I would LOVE to lose another 7 el-bee's this week. We'll see.I know this fast weight loss doesn't last long.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Diets
If you've ever tried to lose weight you've probably read that, "diets don't work". And it has to be a "lifestyle change". You've heard that eating less and moving more is the only way. I had come to believe this very strongly. And then I started Atkins. And it is working. I guess since I've heard so often about diets not working, etc, that I keep feeling the need to defend this diet. I keep thinking of things I should say and come on here and post. And that's just ridiculous.
The bottom line is right now this is working for me, and that's all that matters. Right? And it's not really that bad. I had some major successes this weekend, which I attribute to doing all this with Aaron more than just trying to stick to a diet. I baked cookies for our babysitter and I didn't eat 1/2 c of cookie dough. In fact I barely had a taste of cookie dough. I cant' say I didn't taste any - I'm only human after all. But it was waaay less than I normally would have eaten. And then when I took those piping hot, delicious smelling cookies from the oven - I ate half of one. A far cry from the 12 I would have eaten a couple weeks ago. Another success was taking the girls to Chik-fil-A. I let them get ice cream cones. Well Olivia got a milkshake and Abigail got an ice cream cone. ANYWAY - I knew Abigail wouldn't eat an entire cone so I scooped half of it right into the trash can. And when Olivia drank about 1/2 of her milkshake and then said, "Here Mom, you can have the rest." I took one tiny sip and threw it away. Normally I would not have thought twice about eating half of Abigail's ice cream cone, and finishing Olivia's milkshake. Nothing of it.
The one area I haven't done anything is exercise. I have a list of excuses a mile long. But I know I need to get back in the habit. For my soul more than weight loss. I think I am less grumpy when I workout. So this week I'm going to work on that.
Current weight - 222.3
The bottom line is right now this is working for me, and that's all that matters. Right? And it's not really that bad. I had some major successes this weekend, which I attribute to doing all this with Aaron more than just trying to stick to a diet. I baked cookies for our babysitter and I didn't eat 1/2 c of cookie dough. In fact I barely had a taste of cookie dough. I cant' say I didn't taste any - I'm only human after all. But it was waaay less than I normally would have eaten. And then when I took those piping hot, delicious smelling cookies from the oven - I ate half of one. A far cry from the 12 I would have eaten a couple weeks ago. Another success was taking the girls to Chik-fil-A. I let them get ice cream cones. Well Olivia got a milkshake and Abigail got an ice cream cone. ANYWAY - I knew Abigail wouldn't eat an entire cone so I scooped half of it right into the trash can. And when Olivia drank about 1/2 of her milkshake and then said, "Here Mom, you can have the rest." I took one tiny sip and threw it away. Normally I would not have thought twice about eating half of Abigail's ice cream cone, and finishing Olivia's milkshake. Nothing of it.
The one area I haven't done anything is exercise. I have a list of excuses a mile long. But I know I need to get back in the habit. For my soul more than weight loss. I think I am less grumpy when I workout. So this week I'm going to work on that.
Current weight - 222.3
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Atkins Day 5
Last night I dreamed that I was eating a bagel. A huge New York style bagel. With butter. And a big glass of orange juice. It was a great dream. Then I woke up.
So I feel like I need to explain Atkins a bit. They are always modifying and updating this diet, so Atkins now isn't exactly the Atkins of 10 years ago. I am reading a lot about it and I think this really is the best fit for me.
Right now we are in "Induction". It's the most restrictive part of the diet. You can stay in it as long as you want, or at least two weeks. I was only planning on two weeks, but maybe I'll do it longer since I am seeing good results.
During Induction you eat very little carbs. Like 25 net grams. And those all need to come from vegetables, pretty much. So basically what I've been eating - scrambled eggs with sausage and cheese for breakfast. For lunch a salad with some kind of protein. Either shrimp or chicken. And then dinner is where things have gotten tricky. It's just hard to break the habit of a starch side. So we're eating a lot of veggies and some protein for dinner. Last night we had chicken breasts and salad. And bacon. We've also had steak and steamed broccoli, corned beef and mashed cauliflower. So it's not just eating a ton of fat. And in a couple weeks we add fruits and whole grains.
I am enjoying it really. Even if I am dreaming about bagels. But I love meat. So it's working for us.
Current weight - 223.0
So I feel like I need to explain Atkins a bit. They are always modifying and updating this diet, so Atkins now isn't exactly the Atkins of 10 years ago. I am reading a lot about it and I think this really is the best fit for me.
Right now we are in "Induction". It's the most restrictive part of the diet. You can stay in it as long as you want, or at least two weeks. I was only planning on two weeks, but maybe I'll do it longer since I am seeing good results.
During Induction you eat very little carbs. Like 25 net grams. And those all need to come from vegetables, pretty much. So basically what I've been eating - scrambled eggs with sausage and cheese for breakfast. For lunch a salad with some kind of protein. Either shrimp or chicken. And then dinner is where things have gotten tricky. It's just hard to break the habit of a starch side. So we're eating a lot of veggies and some protein for dinner. Last night we had chicken breasts and salad. And bacon. We've also had steak and steamed broccoli, corned beef and mashed cauliflower. So it's not just eating a ton of fat. And in a couple weeks we add fruits and whole grains.
I am enjoying it really. Even if I am dreaming about bagels. But I love meat. So it's working for us.
Current weight - 223.0
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Yeah it's been a while
I just get tired of saying the same stuff. Kind of like my last post said, it's just discouraging being on this road and not getting anywhere.
My thoughts are changing slightly. I am going to go to the doctor next week... like I said I was going to do a few months ago. I just wonder how healthy I am. I have been dealing with some health issues. I was diagnosed with Epstein Bar (Barr? I've seen it both ways) when I was a teenager. I think it's acting up again, or turning into something else. I don't know. I just feel tired a lot. It's more than tired, it's like my bones are made out of lead. And my throat hurts every morning. And I'm so tired. And my joints ache. So yeah...
But I feel like weight loss would help me with these issues. But it's hard when I feel crappy like this.
So guess what I'm doing now... Atkins. Yup. The ever controversial Atkins diet. The only reason I don't see myself failing miserably is because Aaron is 100% on board with me. We are doing it together. Which makes it so much easier.
I also recruited my SIL Molly to be my accountability partner as far as working out. We call/text each other every day to let each other know how we're doing. Celebrating and motivating.
My current weight is 225. I'll keep ya posted.
My thoughts are changing slightly. I am going to go to the doctor next week... like I said I was going to do a few months ago. I just wonder how healthy I am. I have been dealing with some health issues. I was diagnosed with Epstein Bar (Barr? I've seen it both ways) when I was a teenager. I think it's acting up again, or turning into something else. I don't know. I just feel tired a lot. It's more than tired, it's like my bones are made out of lead. And my throat hurts every morning. And I'm so tired. And my joints ache. So yeah...
But I feel like weight loss would help me with these issues. But it's hard when I feel crappy like this.
So guess what I'm doing now... Atkins. Yup. The ever controversial Atkins diet. The only reason I don't see myself failing miserably is because Aaron is 100% on board with me. We are doing it together. Which makes it so much easier.
I also recruited my SIL Molly to be my accountability partner as far as working out. We call/text each other every day to let each other know how we're doing. Celebrating and motivating.
My current weight is 225. I'll keep ya posted.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Most boring blog ever
Sorry seriously when I started this blog I imagined losing weight every week. Updating with pictures of my hot new skinny self.
And I've pretty much remained the same weight for the past 60 posts. Up and down a few pounds, but overall the same.
So sorry. I don't know how anyone still reads this.
Sometimes I'm also at a loss because I feel like I'm doing all the right things. I mean sure every once and a while I cheat a bit. But I have never eaten a box of oreos. Or an entire pizza. Or anything crazy like that. Yesterday my big treat was that I had cheddar cheese and whole wheat crackers. About an oz of cheese and 6 crackers. I eat Kashi Go Lean Crunch with skim milk every morning for breakfast. I have a salad for lunch. I eat snacks of walnuts or fruit. Maybe dinner is what kills for me? Last night I had a steak and broccoli and brown rice. But I put butter on the rice. And I ate like a cup of it. And I put olive oil and salt on the broccoli. But I used to eat bagels saturated with butter for breakfast. And peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cookies for lunch. Shouldn't that change alone be enough to warrant weight loss? Seriously screw all this small changes stuff!!
I exercise. Maybe not as consistently as I should, but always at least twice or three times a week. Going from nothing to something - again doesn't that warrant something??
Anyway I am not going to stop doing these things. And I'm going to focus on exercising every day not just a few times a week.
And working on the YOU on a Diet stuff. There are a lot of rules with it so I'm working on it. I also decided that I don't care how long it takes. I am going to get to my goal. I don't care if it's by the time I'm 30. It's process. Apparently a really long one for me.
And I've pretty much remained the same weight for the past 60 posts. Up and down a few pounds, but overall the same.
So sorry. I don't know how anyone still reads this.
Sometimes I'm also at a loss because I feel like I'm doing all the right things. I mean sure every once and a while I cheat a bit. But I have never eaten a box of oreos. Or an entire pizza. Or anything crazy like that. Yesterday my big treat was that I had cheddar cheese and whole wheat crackers. About an oz of cheese and 6 crackers. I eat Kashi Go Lean Crunch with skim milk every morning for breakfast. I have a salad for lunch. I eat snacks of walnuts or fruit. Maybe dinner is what kills for me? Last night I had a steak and broccoli and brown rice. But I put butter on the rice. And I ate like a cup of it. And I put olive oil and salt on the broccoli. But I used to eat bagels saturated with butter for breakfast. And peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cookies for lunch. Shouldn't that change alone be enough to warrant weight loss? Seriously screw all this small changes stuff!!
I exercise. Maybe not as consistently as I should, but always at least twice or three times a week. Going from nothing to something - again doesn't that warrant something??
Anyway I am not going to stop doing these things. And I'm going to focus on exercising every day not just a few times a week.
And working on the YOU on a Diet stuff. There are a lot of rules with it so I'm working on it. I also decided that I don't care how long it takes. I am going to get to my goal. I don't care if it's by the time I'm 30. It's process. Apparently a really long one for me.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
My thoughts on YOU On A Diet
I've been reading this book in my spare time for the past week. I've enjoyed it. I've learned a lot about my body. Like I'm learning the same words my husband is learning in his anatomy class! Okay a little less in depth than that, but it's very educational, on a very basic level. Here's a quick summary of what I've learned:
Losing weight is about changing your brain chemistry by eating the right foods. If you are trying to fight the battle of the bulge with sheer willpower you will lose 98% of the time. You psych yourself up, tell yourself you can do it, you are smart, you are strong, you can resist the twinkies. But eventually you'll cave. Because the chemistry signals from your brain are strong. In the book you actually learn the name of all the chemicals, what parts of the brain are involved, etc.
Starvation mode is real. When you fast for more than 12 hours your metabolism drops by 40%. Which is why eating breakfast is so important. You lose weight by eating. The right foods of course.
Anyway I just hit a part this is my absolute favorite so far because it summarizes my emotions perfectly. I'm actually going to try to copy it word for word because I love it so much. I hope I'm not breaking any copyright laws.
One of the psychological realities of being overweight is that many dieters - that is, people who know they need to lose weight and want to - are somewhat comfortable with their bodies. Yes, that body that may be twenty, thirty, forty, or more pounds heavier than it was the day she turned 18. But maybe she's used to post pregnancy weight, she enjoys Friday lunches with her friends, or she can't face a total wardrobe overhaul. It's who she is - and she's more comfortable living her life at that level than going through the struggles and hard work (not to mention the guilt and shame) of trying to shed weight.
So the dieter has two choices: She can remain on top of the hill where she's currently standing and (relatively) comfortable. Or she can try to get to the top of that beautiful mountain in the distance - the ultimate destination for all of her weight-loss goals. There, on the mountain, she'll find smaller sizes, leaf size bikinis..., higher self esteem and probably few health risks. Maybe that's where she'd ideally like to be. But the problem is that there's no easy bridge from that comfort zone of the hill to the peak of the mountain. To get there, she she must travel all the way down from her current comfort level, hit some rough terrain along the way, then climb, climb, climb, her way up this seemingly insurmountable incline. So she asks: Is it worth it to go through all the hard work to reach the top of the ideal mountain, or am I comfortable enough with where I'm standing right now?
It's easier to stay at the current comfort level at a less than ideal size than it is to go through a short period of somewhat uncomortable change - doing things like developing a physical activity program, or avoiding drive-throughs, or changing menus, or going through periods of hunger and irritability.....
So what we have to do is build that bridge - that bridge of smart food choices, of exercise discipline, or working smart, not hard. And we have to support the bridge with strategies and tactics that allow you to make wrong steps without falling completely into the abyss of chocolate nougat. How do we do it? By getting started. Right now. With small steps that lead to big changes.
Sometimes we think motivation to start a program has to come first, but oftentimes the motivation comes after the action: Make a small change (be it walking 30 minutes a day, or eating nuts before dinner to keep you full) and suddenly you feel motivated to make more changes - and to succeed.
[And then talks a bit about the program that it's in the following chapters]
Okay so this is so me. I am pretty comfortable where I'm at. But I do want to be at the top of that beautiful mountain. I thought this was a great analogy. And I can expound much more but I have babies needing my attention. And sorry if there are a million typos in this post, I've had babies on my lap, stealing my book, and writing on my legs while I've typed.
Losing weight is about changing your brain chemistry by eating the right foods. If you are trying to fight the battle of the bulge with sheer willpower you will lose 98% of the time. You psych yourself up, tell yourself you can do it, you are smart, you are strong, you can resist the twinkies. But eventually you'll cave. Because the chemistry signals from your brain are strong. In the book you actually learn the name of all the chemicals, what parts of the brain are involved, etc.
Starvation mode is real. When you fast for more than 12 hours your metabolism drops by 40%. Which is why eating breakfast is so important. You lose weight by eating. The right foods of course.
Anyway I just hit a part this is my absolute favorite so far because it summarizes my emotions perfectly. I'm actually going to try to copy it word for word because I love it so much. I hope I'm not breaking any copyright laws.
One of the psychological realities of being overweight is that many dieters - that is, people who know they need to lose weight and want to - are somewhat comfortable with their bodies. Yes, that body that may be twenty, thirty, forty, or more pounds heavier than it was the day she turned 18. But maybe she's used to post pregnancy weight, she enjoys Friday lunches with her friends, or she can't face a total wardrobe overhaul. It's who she is - and she's more comfortable living her life at that level than going through the struggles and hard work (not to mention the guilt and shame) of trying to shed weight.
So the dieter has two choices: She can remain on top of the hill where she's currently standing and (relatively) comfortable. Or she can try to get to the top of that beautiful mountain in the distance - the ultimate destination for all of her weight-loss goals. There, on the mountain, she'll find smaller sizes, leaf size bikinis..., higher self esteem and probably few health risks. Maybe that's where she'd ideally like to be. But the problem is that there's no easy bridge from that comfort zone of the hill to the peak of the mountain. To get there, she she must travel all the way down from her current comfort level, hit some rough terrain along the way, then climb, climb, climb, her way up this seemingly insurmountable incline. So she asks: Is it worth it to go through all the hard work to reach the top of the ideal mountain, or am I comfortable enough with where I'm standing right now?
It's easier to stay at the current comfort level at a less than ideal size than it is to go through a short period of somewhat uncomortable change - doing things like developing a physical activity program, or avoiding drive-throughs, or changing menus, or going through periods of hunger and irritability.....
So what we have to do is build that bridge - that bridge of smart food choices, of exercise discipline, or working smart, not hard. And we have to support the bridge with strategies and tactics that allow you to make wrong steps without falling completely into the abyss of chocolate nougat. How do we do it? By getting started. Right now. With small steps that lead to big changes.
Sometimes we think motivation to start a program has to come first, but oftentimes the motivation comes after the action: Make a small change (be it walking 30 minutes a day, or eating nuts before dinner to keep you full) and suddenly you feel motivated to make more changes - and to succeed.
[And then talks a bit about the program that it's in the following chapters]
Okay so this is so me. I am pretty comfortable where I'm at. But I do want to be at the top of that beautiful mountain. I thought this was a great analogy. And I can expound much more but I have babies needing my attention. And sorry if there are a million typos in this post, I've had babies on my lap, stealing my book, and writing on my legs while I've typed.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
YOU-Turns
So I'm reading YOU on Diet. Have I mentioned that here yet? I love it. It's fascinating. I am learning a lot. One concept the author writes is YOU-Turns. You are going to screw up. Make a You-turn. This past week I have had nothing but Kashi Go Lean crunch for breakfast, and salads for lunch. Healthy salads even. Today I had a raging headache. Eating eases it somehow. So before I knew it, I had devoured a Kashi Crunch bar, about an ounce of cheddar cheese, 2 slices of wheat bread with butter, and as many bites of my kids soup as I could sneak. Oh and then a few bits of left over ribs. HOLY CRAP.
So making a You-Turn right now. Drinking lots of water. And I'll eat a sensible dinner. They entire day is not a waste because I over did it this morning. And I'll work out today. And drink more water.
So making a You-Turn right now. Drinking lots of water. And I'll eat a sensible dinner. They entire day is not a waste because I over did it this morning. And I'll work out today. And drink more water.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
So I jazzed it up today. I have been really pushing myself to work harder and dig deeper during those workouts. I also challenged myself to just move more in general. Instead of just standing still I fidgeted, bounced, etc. I totally overate at dinner though. I just couldn't stop myself. I made pork ribs and they were just sooo yummy. I feel kind of sick now though. Def not good to eat to the point of nausea. Esp not when wanting to lose weight. I drank a lot of water. I probably could have drank more. Tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Best Low Fat Brownies Ever
This is seriously the best brownie recipe ever. The fact that they are low fat is just a bonus. Only ingredients...
1 can of black beans
1 package low fat brownie mix
About half the package of dark chocolate chips.
That's it. No eggs. No oil. And if you want you can omit the chocolate chips, but I think they add a lot of yumminess for not too much calories or fat.
So all you do, open can of beans. Plug your nose because black beans seriously stink. Rinse beans. Put in blender, with 1 cup of water. Blend a while, until it's liquid and smooth. Add to brownie mix. Stir in chocolate chips. Bake according to directions on brownie box.
I've mixed them up a bit by adding coconut and walnuts on top. Or making cheesecake brownies with Nufactel (or however you spell that cream cheese, that's 1/3 the fat or whatever).
Honestly you have to try it to believe it. I never dreamed they would taste so good, be so chewy and they are packed with protein and fiber. Awesome! Obviously not a health food, but much better than some other dessert options.
1 can of black beans
1 package low fat brownie mix
About half the package of dark chocolate chips.
That's it. No eggs. No oil. And if you want you can omit the chocolate chips, but I think they add a lot of yumminess for not too much calories or fat.
So all you do, open can of beans. Plug your nose because black beans seriously stink. Rinse beans. Put in blender, with 1 cup of water. Blend a while, until it's liquid and smooth. Add to brownie mix. Stir in chocolate chips. Bake according to directions on brownie box.
I've mixed them up a bit by adding coconut and walnuts on top. Or making cheesecake brownies with Nufactel (or however you spell that cream cheese, that's 1/3 the fat or whatever).
Honestly you have to try it to believe it. I never dreamed they would taste so good, be so chewy and they are packed with protein and fiber. Awesome! Obviously not a health food, but much better than some other dessert options.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Daily Goal 2
Totally rocked that goal on Saturday. Drank lots of water.
Goal for today - Go to Jazzercise and push myself as hard as I can.
Goal for today - Go to Jazzercise and push myself as hard as I can.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Daily Goals
I'm going to try to post a goal every day. It may be the exact same thing every day for a while. But I'm just trying to go one day at a time.
Today's goal - Drink a 2 Liter bottle of water.
Also, I kind of cheated a little bit with the sugar fast. I had some fresh blueberries, and just thought they'd be so much better in muffins. They were sweetened with honey and 1/2 c of brown sugar. They were also 100% whole wheat, so I justified it that way. It kind of helped quenched my baking desire. With all this snow I have been dying to bake something. Now I'm just trying not to eat the entire pan of them by myself.
Today's goal - Drink a 2 Liter bottle of water.
Also, I kind of cheated a little bit with the sugar fast. I had some fresh blueberries, and just thought they'd be so much better in muffins. They were sweetened with honey and 1/2 c of brown sugar. They were also 100% whole wheat, so I justified it that way. It kind of helped quenched my baking desire. With all this snow I have been dying to bake something. Now I'm just trying not to eat the entire pan of them by myself.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Sometimes I forget anyone reads this blog
So I kind of think of this as my private blog. Even though I know it isn't private at all. And I don't want it to be. I like the accountability of knowing people are reading. But then sometimes I have to remember I have an audience and maybe I should be more specific about things. IDK. Anyway ... the sugar fast is still going. I'm slightly dying to bake cookies. Seriously. Every night after dinner I crave something sweet like crazy. But I'm going until Feb. We're doing it. It's been fun to do with Aaron really. And we usually eat ice cream at least once a week. I miss it. I'm hoping it's true what they say, about staying away from refined sugars, you stop craving them after a month or so. We'll see. And in full disclosure, I cheated a little. More like forgot. That Kool-Aid has a lot of sugar. And drinks totally count. But that's been it.
I'm always working on improving myself. I think I need to work a bit more on loving myself. I'm not giving up on my weight loss journey. But I need to do something mentally. I'm always thinking about my weight. I don't know how to stop thinking about my weight. Seriously, it's everything. I'll even be feeling good about myself, like "Wow I cooked such a healthy delicious dinner tonight... but I'm fat." Or "I'm a great mom!... but I'm fat." Or worse... "I suck at doing laundry AND I'm fat!"
I don't know how to make it go away. I'm going to try to just stop thinking that one phrase. I'm going to try to focus on the positive things about my body. And I'm going to continue to exercise, eat right, yadda yadda yadda.
This week I'm focusing on exercise. I haven't made it to Jazzercise this week yet, but I'm going tomorrow. I did dance with my kids last night for 30 minutes, and I did sit ups tonight. I'm trying to just do SOMETHING every day. Somedays it may be a really hard workout like Jazzercise or 30 Day Shred, some days it might just be sit ups while watching Monk on Netflix. But something every day.
Now it's time for bed.
I'm always working on improving myself. I think I need to work a bit more on loving myself. I'm not giving up on my weight loss journey. But I need to do something mentally. I'm always thinking about my weight. I don't know how to stop thinking about my weight. Seriously, it's everything. I'll even be feeling good about myself, like "Wow I cooked such a healthy delicious dinner tonight... but I'm fat." Or "I'm a great mom!... but I'm fat." Or worse... "I suck at doing laundry AND I'm fat!"
I don't know how to make it go away. I'm going to try to just stop thinking that one phrase. I'm going to try to focus on the positive things about my body. And I'm going to continue to exercise, eat right, yadda yadda yadda.
This week I'm focusing on exercise. I haven't made it to Jazzercise this week yet, but I'm going tomorrow. I did dance with my kids last night for 30 minutes, and I did sit ups tonight. I'm trying to just do SOMETHING every day. Somedays it may be a really hard workout like Jazzercise or 30 Day Shred, some days it might just be sit ups while watching Monk on Netflix. But something every day.
Now it's time for bed.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Can I do both?
So I read that article I posted about yesterday. And I was all like YEAH no more scale! Yeah eat until I'm full! Only exercise when it feels good!
And then today I weighed myself. Just to see.
228.
Almost back where I started.
I cried. This up and down and up down with these 5 pounds is driving me nuts.
I hate the way I look. Every time I look in the mirror I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like my husband is disgusted with me too. Or at least wishes I was smaller. He doesn't do anything to make me feel this way. In fact he's always telling me I'm too hard on myself. But I just can't imagine him not wishing I was smaller. I've gained a lot of weight since we got married. I was 180ish when we got married. Two kids, and 5 and a half years later and I'm 228. That's unacceptable to me.
So I want to feel good about my body. How do I do that without losing weight? I want to feel good about THIS body. And my skinny body that exists somewhere in here.
Me and working out don't seem to mix. I seem to GAIN weight when I work out. I think it has to do with the fact that I get so tired from working out so hard, I tend to move a lot less throughout the rest of the day. And I think I worked out so I can eat a little more. I try not to do this, but it's the only explanation I can find for why on days I work out I weigh more.
So I guess my problem with the article I posted is that I think I need to do both. I need to get my weight down, and feel good about myself. And Janna Dean kind of says you need to love yourself where you're at. And not fight your body.
So I'm going to try to find a middle. But seriously I just want to stop eating forever right now. I wish there was a magic pill out there. I never knew losing weight could be this hard.
And then today I weighed myself. Just to see.
228.
Almost back where I started.
I cried. This up and down and up down with these 5 pounds is driving me nuts.
I hate the way I look. Every time I look in the mirror I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like my husband is disgusted with me too. Or at least wishes I was smaller. He doesn't do anything to make me feel this way. In fact he's always telling me I'm too hard on myself. But I just can't imagine him not wishing I was smaller. I've gained a lot of weight since we got married. I was 180ish when we got married. Two kids, and 5 and a half years later and I'm 228. That's unacceptable to me.
So I want to feel good about my body. How do I do that without losing weight? I want to feel good about THIS body. And my skinny body that exists somewhere in here.
Me and working out don't seem to mix. I seem to GAIN weight when I work out. I think it has to do with the fact that I get so tired from working out so hard, I tend to move a lot less throughout the rest of the day. And I think I worked out so I can eat a little more. I try not to do this, but it's the only explanation I can find for why on days I work out I weigh more.
So I guess my problem with the article I posted is that I think I need to do both. I need to get my weight down, and feel good about myself. And Janna Dean kind of says you need to love yourself where you're at. And not fight your body.
So I'm going to try to find a middle. But seriously I just want to stop eating forever right now. I wish there was a magic pill out there. I never knew losing weight could be this hard.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
C. Jane. healing posts
I read C. Jane's blog. And I love it. She's one of my favs. Anyway she started a series on healing. And I really liked the first post. You can read the whole article here. She has a guest blogger - Janna Dean. She says our resolutions shouldn't be about our bodies, but our body image. And these are her suggestions:
Throw away your scale and quit weighing yourself.
· Eliminate “fat talk” about yourself or anyone else.
· Honor your body—eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full.
· Say something positive about yourself every day.
· Make a list of 3 things your body did well each day.
· Express gratitude daily to those you love.
· Acknowledge that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and are beautiful in their own right—beauty is subjective.
· Exercise when it feels good and stop when it doesn’t .
· Become a critical viewer of the media. Acknowledge the insane standards set forth for us and laugh about the impossibility of it all and put your energy into something that will strengthen you.
· Make a commitment to give up conversations about dieting, calories, weight, etc.
· Work on developing areas in your life that you are passionate about. You will be beautiful when you love yourself.
So I'm not sure I can do it. I'm kind of obsessed with my scale. But this sounds more like what I want. But skinnyness is what I want. But why? Because of media. I guess. I don't know if I can give up my scale. But it's so true. I really do let my self worth go up and down with the numbers on the scale. I also loved when she said you will be beautiful when you love yourself. I do love myself. But I really struggle with my body. I mean did you see that picture I posted? But I'm going to start working on this more. I think. I just read the article and I'm digesting it. I'll sleep on it and see how I feel.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Sugar Fast
Aaron and I are going 30 days without refined sugars. But I'm kind of sucking at it. I "taxed" my kids fruit snacks by 1 each. And I drank a large helping of hot chocolate after playing in the snow today. It could be worse, I guess. But I'm trying. We are going to NJ for 6 weeks this summer and I want to wear a bathing suit at the beach without feeling like a whale. I want to lose 40lbs. By June 12th. But I'm going to start with a small goal. I want to lose 10lbs by Feb. 1st.
10lbs in 3.5 weeks. Totally doable. I'm weighing myself every day. Yesterday I was 224. Today I was 227. I hope that was just a fluctuation and I didn't gain 3lbs in a day. I'm going to weigh myself officially every Friday. So I guess I'll use the 227. So by Feb. 1st I'm going to be 217.
I've gone to Jazzercise twice this year. My goal is 3 times a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I'm doing it.
10lbs in 3.5 weeks. Totally doable. I'm weighing myself every day. Yesterday I was 224. Today I was 227. I hope that was just a fluctuation and I didn't gain 3lbs in a day. I'm going to weigh myself officially every Friday. So I guess I'll use the 227. So by Feb. 1st I'm going to be 217.
I've gone to Jazzercise twice this year. My goal is 3 times a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I'm doing it.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Can't believe I'm posting this
Monday, January 3, 2011
My favorite weight loss lunch
Organic leafy greens... the kind that come in a plastic box. Left over pulled bbq pork. A tiny bit of cheddar cheese. Top greens with pork, sprinkle cheese. And nothing washes it down better than a giant glass of ice water. Yum.
I think I'll eat this every day until I get sick of it.
I think I'll eat this every day until I get sick of it.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
kind of good news
I'm still 225.
And I spent 2 weeks in Arizona/California eating whatever I wanted.
But it's a new year, and I have a renewed energy. I had a little pregnancy scare and seriously couldn't stomach the thought of STARTING a pregnancy at 225. I am glad I am NOT pregnant for many reasons, but my weight is a big one. And it's my main motivation right now. I want another baby. But I want to be skinny first. Or at least a "healthy" weight.
So back to getting back on track. I am going to start by drinking lots of water and taking lots of Reliv, and exercising daily.
I reeeeeally thought I was going to be over 230 when I got home. I am shocked that I didn't gain any weight. I really don't understand weight loss. I can do so well and weigh 225... or I can not work out at all, eat whatever I want and weigh 225.
I need to have more faith in the principles of weight loss. Move more, eat less, lose weight. Right?
And I spent 2 weeks in Arizona/California eating whatever I wanted.
But it's a new year, and I have a renewed energy. I had a little pregnancy scare and seriously couldn't stomach the thought of STARTING a pregnancy at 225. I am glad I am NOT pregnant for many reasons, but my weight is a big one. And it's my main motivation right now. I want another baby. But I want to be skinny first. Or at least a "healthy" weight.
So back to getting back on track. I am going to start by drinking lots of water and taking lots of Reliv, and exercising daily.
I reeeeeally thought I was going to be over 230 when I got home. I am shocked that I didn't gain any weight. I really don't understand weight loss. I can do so well and weigh 225... or I can not work out at all, eat whatever I want and weigh 225.
I need to have more faith in the principles of weight loss. Move more, eat less, lose weight. Right?
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